A Reddit user shared a long post telling other men that it is OK to approach women and talk to them. He also listed places where men can and cannot approach women, arguing that approaching someone is not a crime. The post, shared in r/HonestHotTakes, had drawn 4,000 comments at the time of publication.
The user began the post by pointing out that women are human beings, too, and that they also enjoy meeting people. He added that many women still prefer men to make the first move and that some even expect it. He urged, “Please go outside. For the love of God.”
The user listed places where a man can approach women. These included bars and pubs, coffee shops, grocery stores, bookstores, libraries, parks, concerts and festivals, parties and social gatherings, gyms (provided he is not interrupting someone's workout), museums and art galleries, community events and, finally, anywhere a respectful conversation is possible.
The list of places where men should not approach women included a dark, isolated parking lot at 2 a.m., when they are trying to get away from you, in a public restroom, when they are visibly uncomfortable or don't want to talk, when they are working and you are using their obligation to be polite as an opportunity to corner them, and when they are wearing headphones.
The user also explained how men should approach women. He said a man should walk up to a woman and start a conversation. If the woman is interested, they can continue the conversation; otherwise, the man should politely leave her alone. “You're not committing a crime by saying hello to someone. You're not automatically a creep because someone doesn't find you attractive. And you're not entitled to someone's attention just because you approached them.”
Concluding his post, the user wrote, “Following an inquiry from the general public, funerals have been added to the list of places where you should probably NOT approach women for romantic purposes.” He also wrote, “I have approached women in most of the places listed, and there was never a problem. Me being 6'5", 280 lbs, built and conventionally attractive has nothing to do with it.”
One commenter wrote, “Some will always be annoyed by being approached. Either because they aren’t interested, taken, or just not in the mood. In those situations, just take the rejection and move on. Doesn’t mean NO women want to be approached though. I think the suggestion of ‘dont approach’ is case by case and has to be treated more like ‘don’t approach women unless you’re okay with being rejected AND can be respectful if/when you are.’”
A second user questioned, “What if the guy is unattractive and socially awkward, it wont be creepy?” A Third user wrote, “I hate the concept of being approached because it sounds so one-sided. I love socializing with strangers though, as in, talking to the people I share proximity with. The concept of approaching makes me feel like a target. I also understand some women like it, as weird as I find that. So yeah all in all OPs take seems totally reasonable.”
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the claims made in the thread. The details reflect accounts shared by users in r/HonestHotTakes. The commenters’ identities have not been confirmed.
