In a TikTok video, a mother named Vanessa, aka @xoxo.nessalovelyn, shared an emotional story about her son finding it hard to make friends on his first day at preschool. As of publication, the video has over 1.7 million likes and shows the creator discussing how difficult it has been to let her child be independent while wanting him to not feel rejected.
She said that her son had been looking forward to starting preschool and spent several days wearing his new Spider-Man backpack, hoping to meet new friends. "He keeps telling me, like, Mommy, I'm so excited to make friends," she said. She got back to school earlier than needed to pick him up, so she watched him as he was playing.
He would go up to a number of children and try to begin conversations and join in their games, but he had difficulty making connections with them.
When her son finally managed to play with another child who interested him, the interaction did not go well. She then said she watched him walk over to the swings, where he struggled to climb on. She said she wanted to step in and help him, but held back because she felt it was important for him to work through the situation on his own.
“He finally gets on this swing, and he just looks so sad,” she said.
@xoxo.nessalovelyn He played alone the whole time and I had to just sit there and watch. Hands down the worst day i've had as a mother ? #firstdayofschool #preschool #allalone #mommoments #sad
♬ original sound - ??? ??????? - Alexander Hamilton
The mom got even more emotional, mentioning that he later fell while playing and had lost his shoe, and still no one noticed or helped. After school, the mother spoke with the teacher about how the day had gone. She also mentioned that her son has high-functioning autism and receives speech therapy.
She said the teacher had asked students whether they felt happy or sad that day, and her son was the only one who chose sad.
Vanessa added that her son was upset when he got home from school and did not speak for a few minutes. Finally, he told his mom that he liked his teacher but was disappointed that he hadn't made any friends. "I just feel so bad as a mom," she said, and said that now she is getting worried he might be left out as he was, or even bullied.
In the comments section of this TikTok video, a number of viewers also described their own experiences with loneliness, autism, and friendships from childhood. One said, "I would LOVE to be his friend," and another reassured the mom that her son now had hundreds of thousands of online supporters, following the video's viral reach.
Some recommended that parents need to create opportunities for children to meet and interact through playdates and group activities.
One commenter also said that they urge their child to go over and talk to classmates who are playing by themselves, and hope that their child will always learn how to include others. Some other viewers mentioned their own experiences in childhood when they had felt isolated at school; one of them said that the situation brought back memories of their own difficulties.
Although she said it was painful to watch, the mom acknowledged that learning to navigate difficult moments independently is part of growing up.
