A mom's post on Reddit about two young girls having difficulty with social situations has led to people discussing how to identify developmental differences without immediately labeling a child. The post on the subreddit r/GirlDinnerDiaries had the mom describe that her daughters are 3 years and 6 years old. She said that both are in daycare and that the older one recently started kindergarten.
Except neither of them can easily play with other children, unlike what other kids their age can do.
The mom said that her 6-year-old child has had difficulties with social skills for a long time. The six-year-old can play well with friends for a time, but longer interactions tend to lead to meltdowns, crying, and arguments. She said that her daughter usually wants the other children to accept her ideas and gets upset when they suggest something else.
At one of the playdates, the mom said one of her child's classmates came to visit. The six-year-old became repeatedly frustrated when the classmate suggested different ideas.
"I just hate seeing my kid struggle with something so important," the mom wrote, along with the fact that her daughter's school had been supportive and that the child had made "huge progress" the previous year.
Most commenters recommended getting professional advice. One mentioned that their parents had ignored similar signs when they were children, and another explained how occupational therapy had helped their child improve their social behaviour. Many also asked whether the girl's behaviour might be neurodivergent, such as with autism or ADHD.
The mom also added that she had been diagnosed with ADHD this February and that her evaluator had proposed having her 6-year-old child assessed after she spoke of the child's behaviour.
That point is important since social difficulties alone are not sufficient to support a diagnosis of autism or ADHD. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that autism may manifest as differences in social interaction and communication, together with limited/repetitive behaviors and interests. The CDC also states that screening cannot be used to give a diagnosis; a formal evaluation could include specialists such as developmental pediatricians, child psychologists, speech-language pathologists, or occupational therapists.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, occupational therapy may be of help to children who have problems in areas such as sensory processing, motor planning, play skills, and classroom activities. That therapy is then customized to meet each child's needs and includes strategies that are used at home and at school.
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Commenters also addressed how to support children with social differences without stigmatizing them. One commenter advised parents to keep their child's social interactions brief if they become overwhelmed, and another mentioned that their teenager had learned to know when their 'social battery' was drained.
The original poster also said she found social situations challenging herself and was uncertain how much she could model for her daughter. According to the CDC, parents should talk to a doctor when they have concerns about their child's development, rather than assume or use an online diagnosis.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the events described in this Reddit post. The details above reflect the original poster's account as shared on r/GirlDinnerDiaries. The identities of those involved have not been confirmed. This article is not intended as medical advice; parents with concerns about their child's development should consult a licensed healthcare provider.
