‘I Fell for It’: Working Mom’s Viral TikTok Calls the ‘Have It All’ Dream a Lie — and the Internet Has Thoughts

A TikTok video of a 40-year-old working mother urging women to abandon the "have it all" dream has resurfaced on X. The video prompted debate over whether women can realistically balance careers and family life.

In the video, TikTok user Ashley Wishman said she recorded the video between work meetings. "I have been in the corporate life for almost half my life," she says. "I fell for this thing where — go to college, get your degree. If you want to have kids, you can do it all. You can have a career, you can have kids, you can just do everything." She added, "Do not fall for that. It is not worth it."

The mother of two also said her children are 11 and 7 and that she actually wants to take her kids to school, pick them up, chaperone trips, volunteer, go to the gym, clean the house, and simply "be home."

When the clip was reshared on X, some users empathized. one commenter said she transitioned from a corporate job to managing her family's home-based business.

Another commenter argued that "work is a waste of your life," and that no one on their deathbed wishes they had worked harder.

But others pushed back due to the economic reality that many families face. "Too late to put the cat back in the bag," they wrote. "Women are in the workforce, and there is no going back. Most families cannot live on one income anymore." One commenter raised a financial concern writing, "Let's say she didn't get a career, became a trad wife, and then got divorced. Now she's 10 times more screwed."

A 2025 survey by Catalyst, a nonprofit focused on workplace gender equity, found that nearly half of women who left work in 2025 said that their reasons were caregiving responsibilities and the high cost and limited availability of child care.

Commenters questioned who would fund the lifestyle she described, noting the video made no mention of a partner's income.