A solo traveler reported on Reddit that spending zero time on her appearance during a trip resulted in a "freeing" experience. She called this phenomenon "ugly privilege," noting that men didn't harass or stare at her nearly as much as when she's dressed up and wearing makeup.
Older women chimed in to agree that, paradoxically, being perceived as ugly comes with some liberating benefits.
Is "ugly privilege" a real thing?
A post started going viral on r/solofemaletravellers on Tuesday after Redditor r/Free_Wonder_3743 asked her fellow traveling women, "Can we talk about Ugly Privilege?"
"I’ve been solo travelling for the last 3 months and while I’m travelling I’m in comfy clothes, have my hair tied back in a messy bun (usually hasn’t been washed in daaaaays) and I don’t wear make up," she wrote. "I very much go unnoticed. And omg is it amazing when you’re a solo female traveller!"
"I don’t get hassled as much/don’t get stared at ... and generally get left alone, which is a privilege in itself. Now that’s not to say I think of myself as ugly, but I haven’t been attracting the male gaze while I’m in my traveller aesthetic and it’s felt FREEING."
The Redditor contrasted this phenomenon with "pretty privilege"—a term that plagued social media with discourse years ago. While there are undeniable privileges that come with being perceived as attractive in a culture obsessed with aesthetics, the intersection of systemic sexism complicates things.
Many studies have found that physical attractiveness grants hot people various benefits, including a better chance of being hired for a job. You might notice how many TikTok stars making the most cash are hotties.
However, it's also true that men are more likely to harass attractive women, while the rest can feel invisible at the club.
The OP later clarified that no one is to blame for harassment but the harassers.
"I'm invisible and it's bliss."
While feeling invisible is typically not a fun experience, the prevalence of harassment from men has turned it into a relief for some women. Multiple comments from older women spoke on a similar feeling of liberation after they grew out of the range of societal beauty standards.
"Being old is the cure. I love it!" said r/zadvinova. "I guess I was fairly conventionally pretty when I was young, and I was also very into fitness, so I was slim. The constant sexual harassment was unbearable, regardless of what I wore. Now I'm 55, and I use a wheelchair. I'm invisible, and it's bliss."
"I love being fat and pushing fifty, men act like I don't exist and it is theeeee life," wrote r/Safe_Place8432.
"Try being post menopause—it's like an invisibility cloak—amazing!" r/Present-Carob-7366 reported.
At the same time, some warned against calling a lack of male harassment a "privilege."
"It is not a privilege to not be harassed when out in public," r/4travelers noted. "Harassment is an attack, and people who do it should be held accountable."
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