A concerned father took to the r/NoStupidQuestions subreddit as he said that he disagrees with his adult child's choices. In the post, he says that his 20-year-old son is dating his 19-year-old first cousin. The father explained that while he strongly disapproved of the relationship, such a relationship was actually legal in their state. So that fact made him think about how to respond without affecting his relationship with his son.
The original poster wrote, "My son (...) [is] an adult and lives on his own. I obviously don't like this but still want to support him."
The father later said that the couple did not grow up together and just met a few years ago. He also added that he had already discussed potential genetic risks of having children with his son and that the latter reportedly said they did not plan to have children together.
The post received more than 5,000 upvotes, with many users advising the father to prioritize communication rather than trying to force the couple apart. One of the most-upvoted responses read: "There's not much you can do except to strongly encourage them to get genetic counseling if they plan on having children together. ... The more upset you get about the relationship, the more likely he is to rush into something serious."
The father agreed, "I just don't want to make things worse."
Others echoed the recommendation for genetic counseling if the relationship became long-term, though the pair were still young and had reportedly been dating for only six months. Several also pointed out, "An unfortunate outcome of this will be the gossip and talk amongst the friends group and family group, and it could be [lifelong]." They said that the couple should understand the possible impact on family dynamics.
Some commenters argued there was little the father could do given that his son is an adult. One responded, "You can't really do anything about it unless you want to cut him out of your life." The father, in reply, said that he "[does not] want that," and basically "that's the issue."
Legality of first-cousin relationships varies by jurisdiction and differs from state to state. Some allow it; others prohibit it.
Medical experts also note that children of first cousins face a higher risk of certain inherited genetic disorders than the general population; the absolute increase in risk remains relatively modest for a single first-cousin union. Thus, organizations such as the National Society of Genetic Counselors recommend genetic counseling for related couples.
