Yesterday, House Republicans were poised to pass a stopgap spending bill to fund the government for next three months, until Elon Musk started bemoaning it.
Over a series of posts on X, Musk highlighted and reshared (often inaccurate) posts about the bills, turning the sentiment of a number of GOP congressman against it and sending the government careening toward a shutdown the bill had hoped to avert.
The episode showcased Musk ability to wage policy warfare with posts in his newfound, nebulous role in President-elect Donald Trump’s administration.
But the battle also played out among Musk’s loyal soldiers, his army of Twitter Blue (X Premium, sorry) sycophants who adopted the tech billionaire as the latest iteration of the Trumpian war against mainstream Republicans.
And nowwhere was the fight more apparent than between Catturd and Rep. Dan Crenshaw.
Crenshaw is a former Navy SEAL who lost an eye in combat before serving in Congress. Catturd is a Florida shut-in obsessed with his pet’s poop. But in 2024, as Musk is fond of saying, the power is with the poop-le.
(Sorry.)
“KILL THE BILL!” Catturd wrote to his 3.2 million followers yesterday, echoing a Kill Bill meme Musk shared.
Later, he lambasted House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.), who pushed for the bill.
“Might as well have Nancy Pelosi as speaker,” he wrote.
Of particular note in the bill was a pay raise for members of Congress, which Musk’s government-slashing DOGE faction was upset about.
“How many of you get raises for working 138 days per year and being off work 227 days?” Catturd asked.
A post from a Nick Sortor then looped in Crenshaw.
“DC sources tell me that @DanCrenshawTX is spearheading the effort to get a pay raise for Congress,” he wrote, while highlighting complaints over members of Congress trading stocks, which Crenshaw has been criticized for.
Crenshaw denies he’s engaged in insider trading while in Congress and responded to the post, calling it a lie.
“Yeah or maybe you’re a fucking lying piece of shit because I’m not even on the YES list for the whip team. Never have been. But hey, whatever gets you pathetic bottom feeders your click bait. Fucking incels.”
The claim from Sortor even got a bump from Musk, who said Congress shouldn’t get a raise until the budget is balanced. Crenshaw responded by reiterating he was not in charge of the push for pay increased.
“I love you Elon but you need to take 5 seconds to check your sources before highlighting bottom feeders looking for clicks,” he wrote.
Catturd vs Dan Crenshaw
Catturd responded to the post, bashing Crenshaw by jokingly agreeing with him.
“Yeah get it right -Dan Crenshaw is the America-last, Ukraine-first war pig who doesn’t need a raise because of all the money he makes when he miraculously became a stock expert since joining Congress,” he wrote.
To which Crenshaw responded with a fury.
“Anonymous coward like ‘catturd’ talking shit without any evidence. I’m used to it. Sorry I was guy fighting the wars that little bitches like you would never dare to. One of us has actually served this country and continues to, while losers like you make money being trolls on social media. If you think I’m ‘rich,” you’re a fucking idiot. The people getting rich off politics are the ‘influencers’ like Catturd selling their platforms.”
Crenshaw is right that Catturd is part of Musk’s influencer payouts, though he’s lamented the fact that the money ain’t what it used to be. But Catturd also noted he’s a veteran as well and that his identity has long been out there (A 2023 investigation by the Daily Dot revealed Catturd was Phillip Buchanan of Florida).
Catturd followers swiftly responded, taking it to Crenshaw, who they’ve long loathed for his support of America’s involvement in foreign wars.
“America Last shitbag,” one person dubbed him.
Others used their favorite moniker for him, “Eye Patch McCain.”
Catturd himself fired off a series of tweets, calling Crenshaw a “POS” with “Severe anger issues.”
And while Crenshaw supporters tried to fight back, this morning, when the dust settled, the spending bill had died an ignominious death.
Which Catturd cheered, with a nod to his digital deity.
“Elon Musk is a national hero. Everyone supporting the laughable spending bill are America-last sellouts,” he wrote.
So if you thought the first Trump administration was too online… Buckle up.
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