A TikTok user shared her idea of a good friend under the handle @teaguzzles and it sparked a widespread discussion in the comments section. She said the one thing she could not stand was “someone who will not inconvenience themselves for the sake of a friendship.”
The woman started by saying, “If you are only willing to hang out with your friend when they make the drive to you and you never make the drive to see them, I don’t think you are a good friend.”
She gave a hypothetical example: “I know it's your birthday and I said I would come. But I'm just really tired and not feeling it. I don't have the energy to be social. So I'm not gonna be there.”
The TikTok user gave another example, saying, “Super busy day today. My friend called me up and said she needs a ride from the mechanic. I technically do have time, but I don’t want to. You’re not a good friend.” She argued that if a friendship exists only on one person's “most convenient, perfect terms,” that person may not be a good friend.
@teaguzzles Credentials: I have amazing friends. I love my friends #friendships #bsf #bestfriend #relationships
♬ original sound - teaguzzles
The woman said that there can come a situation where you are sick and have to cancel a plan. “Of course things happen. You should be characterized by being willing to inconvenience yourself for your friend,” she said. However, she also argued that the effort should be mutual and that one friend should not always be the person making sacrifices.
“You’re the one going out of your way, and they are never willing to do that for you. That is not a healthy friendship,” she concluded. She added, “You guys should both be willing to inconvenience yourselves for each other.”
She advised viewers against maintaining friendships with people who were not "willing to inconvenience themselves." Explaining her reasoning, the TikTok user said, “Because I am very willing to. If my friend lives an hour away, I willingly drive that hour to see her.” She also said she expected the same effort from her friends.
She said the only exception was when someone was “actually broke.” She added, “If you’re actually broke, do what you gotta do to keep the lights on.” She said friendships with the least financial tension were those in which both people took turns paying.
Offering her take on splitting costs, she said, “Do not Venmo request them $7 for their share of the Uber, unless you actually really need that 7. Then do what you gotta do.” She concluded by saying, “Of course, if someone is miserly and never ever pays you back for anything that they should pay you back for, don’t maintain that friendship.” She also encouraged people to be generous rather than miserly in their friendships.
As of publication, the video had drawn 205,600 views, 43,900 likes, and 484 comments. One commenter wrote, “Even if you don’t drive. You can’t tell me that you can’t take the train or the bus for 1 day??? Or take an Uber???” Another commenter wrote, “I always say that in a relationship and friendship, both people work together to keep the friendship/relation going, and I stand by it.”
A third commenter offered a different perspective, writing, “I'm not always going to inconvenience myself, and if you expect your friends to always inconvenience themselves for you then you aren't a good friend.”
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the events described in this video. The details above reflect the account shared by @teaguzzles on TikTok.
