A 29-year-old woman wrote that she felt offended after learning that her family members had been talking behind her back about how much they disliked the handmade gifts she gave them for birthdays and Christmas. The post, shared in r/AmIOverreacting, had received 723 comments at the time of publication.
The woman began her post by explaining that she was a crafter with a wide range of hobbies, including sewing, knitting, crocheting, pottery, embroidery, soapmaking and baking. She added that she worked from home as a data analyst, so she spent her downtime working on some kind of project. “I love my life, and my hobbies are really important to me and something I'm proud of.”
The woman revealed that she made 90% of her birthday and Christmas gifts herself. She only bought presents when someone specifically requested something; otherwise, her gifts were handmade. “It's usually socks or homewares, sometimes sweaters or blankets if I have the time, or hampers with things I've baked myself. I'm never sloppy with it; I'm definitely not a professional, but everything is well made.”
She later found out that her family members had been talking behind her back about how much they disliked her gifts and wished they would receive more conventional presents. The woman wrote that one of her sisters said she hated birthdays and Christmas because she knew she would get arts and crafts again. “I was REALLY upset, and when I confronted them, they said I need to grow up and get things that people actually want instead of wasting my time.”
She claimed to have a difficult relationship with her family and said she had tried to keep the peace. However, following the discovery, she was genuinely considering going low contact with them. “I would've stopped years ago because I know some people don't like handmade gifts, but they never said anything, and it hurts that I HAVE been wasting my time. IDK if it's unreasonable for me to be offended or if I should just learn from this and move on.”
One commenter wrote, “There is no polite way to tell someone you don’t like their homemade gifts. I have a friend who always crochets place mats. I don’t use placemats. I’m not a fan of crochet. I never told my friend I wasn’t going to use her gifts. But I always felt bad that she spent time, energy and expense on something I wasn’t going to use. I’d just stop making them gifts. Making fun of you behind your back was mean.”
Another commenter wrote, “Even with purchased gifts, I've started telling friends to please not. I have only so much space in my home. And it's already too filled. I'm sure there's variance, but so many of us getting gifts also means then getting rid of them, because they don't have a use. With gifts, I tend to only give them if I truly think the person wants it... versus me thinking they should want the gift.”
A third person wrote, “Sometimes it’s more fun for the crafty person to make the gifts than for the person who receives them. I think you should have made an effort to find out whether people actually wanted things like this before doing all the work.”
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the claims made in the thread. The details reflect accounts shared by users in r/AmIOverreacting. The commenters’ identities have not been confirmed.
