A Man Said His Fiancée’s Hygiene Habits Are Affecting His Attraction to Her — They Are Engaged, Have Three Dogs and Are Buying a House Together

A person who posted on the subreddit r/BoyDinnerDiaries says that the long-standing hygiene problems he has had with his fiancée are now having an effect on how attracted he feels to her. Commenters focused heavily on the graphic details rather than offering relationship advice.

In that post, a 31-year-old man explained that he had been living with his 33-year-old partner and was becoming more and more frustrated with what he described as her bad hygiene and disorganization.

The two people, who have known each other for several years, are now engaged, have three dogs together and are presently buying a house as a couple. The poster, however, says that their present way of living has revealed a serious compatibility problem.

He said he could tolerate some clutter but preferred clean surfaces. His main concern is his partner's habit of leaving phlegm in their home: "She will work them over in her fingers till they are a tight ball of sticky resin." The Redditor said that he has brought up this matter many times over the years. He admitted that his partner has made some improvements, such as using paper towels instead of leaving the mucus directly on the walls or furniture.

Yet he still feels uncomfortable about touching household objects because he doesn't know whether they have been contaminated.

The matter came to a head when he was getting on with preparing dinner. Seeing another spot of mucus on the kitchen counter, he decided it was time to deal with the issue that his partner's habits were beginning to affect his attraction to her. He also worries about her eating with her hands without first having checked that she has washed them, especially in the case where she is handling food which she then offers to him.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention advises washing one's hands before, during, and after handling food, before eating, and after coughing, sneezing, or blowing one's nose. The agency also suggests that kitchen surfaces should be kept clean to reduce germs.

The poster also said both of them smoked and that his fiancée frequently coughed up phlegm. The CDC points out that smoking can lead to respiratory symptoms such as cough and phlegm.

Following the argument, the woman allegedly said that she too finds some of his behavior annoying but usually does not point out other people's faults. He claimed that he had encouraged her to be more open about her complaints since he preferred to deal with problems directly.

At the same time, Reddit users seemed to be much more interested in the odd details than in mediating relationships. One commenter wrote, "I stopped after 'boogers,'", and another said, "Nobody forced me to keep reading, I did this to myself." Another commenter noted that the poster was not just staying in the relationship but preparing to buy a house with his partner.

Several commenters said the situation illustrated why couples should discuss household expectations before making major commitments like buying a home.

However, for the poster, the problem still has no solution. Since a new home may soon be within reach, he said he doesn't want the habits that bothered him in their current home to carry over.

This article is based on a post shared in r/BoyDinnerDiaries on Reddit. The Daily Dot could not independently verify the events described or the identities of those involved.