A TikTok posted by @mike.cerroni on April 11 shows the creator listing what he would actually spend lottery winnings on in a hypothetical scenario. The video had drawn 1.7 million likes and 24,300 comments as of publication.
In the video, Cerroni references the meme of lottery winners insisting there wouldn't be any obvious signs they'd won, before saying, "I, first thing I do, buy paper towels." He says he and his roommate Linden would be thrilled, joking that they have been drying their hands on their pants for a month.
His second stop would be the DMV, answering the viewer's questions, "Why did you go to DMV? Oh, maybe your new Lamborghini, your new Porsche?" before answering that he would simply pay a vehicle registration that is two years overdue and get insured.
He said he would park on the street and put money in the meter 'for the f--- of it', calling that the real sign he had won the lottery: "That's how you know I won the lottery. If I just start following laws." He says his actual goal is simply to become "a law abiding citizen."
@mike.cerroni glorious day i’ll tell ya that
♬ original sound - cerroni
Cerroni continues with smaller, mundane purchases, including guacamole at Chipotle, saying that even though "guac is cost extra," it "doesn't make a dent" in his new budget. He says he would go to the dentist for a routine cleaning, asking himself, "What's wrong with your teeth? Nothing. Clean them." He described a planned doctor's visit, saying he would get blood work done just to see 'what's going on in there,' even though nothing was currently wrong.
He said he would get his own Netflix account, saying he wanted to 'watch my own movies and shows' rather than whatever his friend was watching — and so the friend 'doesn't know someone else is on his account.' He also mentions wanting to eliminate ads on SoundCloud.
Cerroni describes a Whole Foods trip for "a bunch of just organic vegetables," specifically "weird colored organic vegetables," adding that he might not even eat them and would simply keep them in the fridge to maintain "a good fridge."
He said he would buy two glass bottles of Mountain Valley water for $20 and pour them into a Bearbrick-style fizzy drink container, and buy mouth tape without necessarily planning to use it, just so he could talk about owning it, comparing the impulse to buying "a cowboy hat or some s---."
Commenters responded with their own modest lottery plans and reactions to Cerroni's list. One wrote, "If I win, I'll pay the full price in self checkout."
Another described a similarly mundane priority involving debt. They wrote, "Id [sic] answer the debt collectors calls and pay in full."
A different commenter reacted with concern to the idea that a dental cleaning would require winning the lottery. They wrote, "This made me so sad bro what is going on in America?? wdym go get a dental cleaning?? You're SUPPOSED TO twice a year! Yall don't????"
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the personal financial details described in this video, including the creator's roommate situation and stated debts. The details above reflect the TikTok creator's video as shared on TikTok.
