A Friend Group Stopped Inviting a Woman With OCD After She Asked Others to Avoid a Member She Considered Contaminated — the Post Has Divided Commenters

A Reddit user has triggered a discussion about obsessive-compulsive disorder after telling a friend that his girlfriend was no longer welcome to take part in their group activities because of the way she treated another member. The post on Reddit’s r/AmItheAsshole was made by a 20-year-old woman who said her long-time friend group had first accepted the girlfriend, Sarah, and made arrangements to meet her needs.

The poster said Sarah had severe OCD and a set of rules about what situations she could tolerate. At first, the group tried to meet her demands because she was polite, but that changed after Sarah found out that the poster had dermatitis.

The poster said Sarah then treated her as though she were contaminated, refusing to sit near her, avoiding physical contact, and allegedly asking others not to sit beside her.

According to the poster, the situation worsened at a restaurant when Sarah told a waiter to be careful when handing the woman her glass since he could become "contaminated". The poster added that this behaviour eventually made the group uncomfortable, so when they arranged another gathering, she told her friends she would not go if Sarah was there.

They finally decided Sarah should not go on any more outings until she stopped asking other people to avoid the poster. The woman messaged her friend Mark to explain the decision and made it clear that she could understand if he didn't want to go without his girlfriend. Mark became angry and accused the poster of being ableist, according to the post.

The Reddit community mostly supported the original poster. One comment read, “OCD doesn’t make you rude,” arguing that Sarah’s condition shouldn't be used as a reason to ask others to avoid the poster. Another commenter, who said they have severe OCD, added: “My problem is mine, and I work very hard to ensure that it doesn’t affect others.”

Many also noted a difference between having intrusive thoughts or fears of contamination and acting on those thoughts in ways that affect other people. The International OCD Foundation states that OCD can include contamination-related obsessions and compulsions. As a form of cognitive behavioral therapy, treatment may involve exposure and response prevention (ERP), which gradually exposes people to feared situations while helping them resist compulsive reactions.

The National Institutes of Health also considers ERP to be an effective treatment for reducing the compulsive behaviors linked with OCD. However, this does not imply that people with OCD should be compelled into situations that are frightening to them.

The International OCD Foundation also says that ERP is carried out gradually and with proper guidance, not by coercion.