A Grieving Dad Asked Out His Kids’ Daycare Worker, but She Turned Him Down and Now Fears the Kids Are Caught in the Fallout

A daycare worker was asked out by a grieving father she has known for six years. Her account of this incident has gone viral on Reddit, where discussion centered on grief and the fallout from rejection. And, of course, professional boundaries.

The woman said she has known the family for years through her work at a daycare center.

According to her post, the father's wife was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after the COVID-19 pandemic and became pregnant around the same time.

The mother chose to continue the pregnancy and forgo chemotherapy. She died when her newborn son was around a month old. The boy is now 3 years old and still attends the daycare where the poster works; his older sister, 7, also has a close bond with her.

The woman, 33, said the 37-year-old father began texting her about his personal life and family situation. She said she saw it coming before he asked her to dinner.

However, she declined. "I'm glad he's trying to move on and wants to date, just don't date your babysitter," she wrote. She writes that she wants to maintain a professional relationship and continue to support the children.

Since then, she says, the father has become distant and only responds with short messages. She is now concerned that this awkwardness could affect her relationship with the children.

Reddit users empathized with everyone involved. One commenter advised her to let him be awkward and keep doing her job. "The weirdness will go away after a while, unless he keeps making it a thing." Another user said they too were a widowed person and that it is normal for grieving people to feel drawn to those who provide comfort and stability. But the woman has no obligation to reciprocate.

Another user said that the father is likely embarrassed, and probably "wants to crawl under a rock every time he sees" her. They added that he may be withdrawing to respect her boundaries. Yet another person held the father responsible: "Let him be awkward. He's earned that. (...) Expect him to put the children's stability and feelings first, and allow you to continue to keep on doing your job well."

On the other hand, the poster mentioned her coworkers have been joking that if she dated him, he would no longer have to pay for childcare. She has asked them to stop, as the situation is a lot more complex than that. Many commenters agreed on this point.

However, some commenters strayed from the romantic subplot and questioned the mother's decision to carry her pregnancy to term while forgoing cancer treatment.

But then, one commenter who said she was also a cancer patient mentioned a similar impossible decision during her own pregnancy. "You really, really don't know what choice you would make in a situation like that until you are actually knee deep in it," she wrote to warn people not to judge the deceased lady.

The original poster later said she simply wants to help the family. She added that her decision was not primarily motivated by money.