Men on Internet Explain Why They’ve Decided Not to Get Married: ‘I’ve Never Seen a Marriage I Envied’

Men who decide against getting married cite a variety of reasons, including witnessing unhappy relationships and questioning whether a legal commitment is necessary to express love. In a recent discussion on Reddit’s r/AskMen subreddit, a user asked men who had decided not to marry what had led them to that choice.

For some, the decision was influenced by what they witnessed during childhood. One commenter, whose parents separated when he was 12, recalled seeing his mother enter another marriage that also ended in divorce. Having witnessed hostility and conflict in his family, he said, he questioned the purpose of marriage.

Another commenter cited “seeing so many marriages fail.” Some said they had never seen a marriage they wanted for themselves. One wrote, “I've never seen a marriage I envied.”

Financial uncertainty also emerged as a concern among some commenters who had been through divorce. They described experiences involving spousal support and the division of assets that made them reluctant to marry again. One commenter said he was paying alimony even though his ex-wife worked full time. He also said he had to pay a lump sum to keep his business after a court determined that his ex-wife was entitled to a share of the increase in the business’s value during their marriage.

Another commenter said he was going through a divorce and that the process had reinforced his concerns about marriage. Some commenters suggested that prenuptial agreements could help couples establish financial expectations before marrying. Others felt such agreements did not offer adequate protection when trust broke down.

For other men, the decision was less about divorce and more about independence. Some said they enjoyed living alone, pursuing their hobbies, traveling and having personal space without the expectations that can come with marriage.

One commenter described an uncle who had never married and happily spent his weekends repairing cars and fishing. Another said he had been single for years and preferred his hobbies, dogs and close friendships.

Some commenters argued that marriage was not a necessary expression of commitment. One man said he and his girlfriend had decided to remain child-free and live separately. He said the arrangement worked well for them, gave them space and improved their relationship.

Another commenter similarly stated, "I'm not afraid of commitment. I just don't believe love becomes more genuine when it becomes legally binding."