Woman Blames Parents for Sister’s Years of Stealing, But Now They’re ‘Stunned’

A 22-year-old woman asked Reddit whether she was wrong to tell her parents they are to blame for her younger sister’s behavior.

The post, shared Oct. 25 on the r/AmItheAsshole forum, had more than 3,700 upvotes and 153 comments at the time of publication.

The woman wrote that she and her sister fought over belongings throughout their childhood. Her toys, clothes, jewelry and electronics were taken, and “it was expected of me to just get over it,” she wrote.

When the poster was about 10, her sister, then 3, threw an iPad the poster received for her birthday down the stairs.

The iPad was replaced, and her sister threw it again, between the railings. After the third time, the poster’s mother gave the iPad to her sister.

“You’re her older sister, you need to learn to share,” her mother said, according to the poster. Her mother said the iPad would not be replaced again, and the poster stopped using it.

The poster wrote that her newer belongings later went missing, were found broken or came back stained. She said her sister also took items from her room at night for years.

By 15, the poster asked her mother for therapy because she doubted herself. Her mother said she did not need it.

“There wasn’t a time that I could remember where I wasn’t afraid to sleep,” she wrote.

College brought relief. “I finally had a lock on my door, something I had been asking my parents for since before high school,” she wrote.

Early this year, she calmly told her parents she needed a lock because her sister had taken from her again. Her parents agreed, she installed it, and the stealing stopped.

Her sister then began taking earrings and clothes from their mother, who complained to the poster about it.

The poster responded: “The only reason she’s the way she is, is because they allowed it.” Her parents were stunned and said nothing, she wrote. She said they now look at her with “remorse and annoyance.”

The poster wrote that her sister faced few consequences growing up and that lectures have not worked. She said she hopes her sister will grow out of it but that her parents must handle the situation because she will not.

“I love my parents and my siblings,” she wrote. “But because it went on for so long I felt like I was overreacting.”

Commenters largely sided with the poster. One compared the situation to gardening. “They enabled it for so long lecturing won’t do anything,” the commenter wrote. Another suggested she tell her parents, “think of all the money you could have saved by telling her no a decade ago.”

A third wrote that her parents “spent 12 years training her to steal your stuff without consequences” and “don’t get to act shocked or offended now.”

The Daily Dot could not independently verify the events described in the post. The details reflect the poster’s account on Reddit, and the identities of the poster and commenters have not been confirmed.