A mother in her 30s recently took to Reddit to share that she is facing backlash from friends after uninviting a member of her social group from an annual weekend getaway to avoid personal conflict during the trip. The post, shared to r/AmItheAsshole by user u/HousingSpiritual3725, describes the woman's reasoning and asks whether she made the right call.
In the post, the 34-year-old organizer explained that she arranges the yearly vacation for a group of seven to eight mothers from her children's school. Planning began months ago, with all regular group members, including a friend named Kelly, who had been included in initial planning. However, things went south soon.
Kelly had reportedly fallen out with several members of the group, and some told the organizer they would not attend if Kelly was included.
“...Kelly has had major fallings out with two of the other women attending over some personal drama. Kelly is also known for being very confrontational when things get tense, so the dynamic in the wider group has been strained for weeks.”
“Last week, as I was getting ready to collect everyone's share for the deposit, three different women reached out to me privately. Two said directly that they would not go if Kelly was sharing a house with them because of the hostility, and a third said she felt anxious about being stuck in an enclosed cabin given the bad blood.”
Facing potential cancellations from half the group, the organizer called Kelly directly to explain that, given the current tension, it would be best if she skipped this specific trip. Instead of understanding the situation, the OP said that Kelly reacted with anger, calling the organizer "two-faced" and accused her of taking sides in personal drama.
“Nobody had sent money yet, so nothing was finalized. I felt stuck between losing half the group or having a miserable, volatile weekend. I decided to call Kelly directly. I tried to be gentle and explained that given the current tension with a couple of the attendees, sharing close quarters probably wasn't going to be enjoyable for anyone, and that it would be best if she sat this specific trip out.”
“Kelly completely blew up. She called me a two-faced coward, accused me of picking sides in drama that had nothing to do with me, and said withdrawing an invite is petty middle-school bullying. Her argument was that she had done nothing wrong to me personally, and if the other women had an issue being around her, they should be the ones to stay home.”
Woman Sparks Debate After Uninviting Friend From Annual Group Trip to Prevent Personal Conflict
The situation has divided the Redditor’s social circle. While those attending the trip praised the organizer for addressing a difficult dynamic before money was collected, outside friends criticized her for taking a side.
“Since then, she has made several comments to mutual friends that I singled her out and excluded her unfairly. A couple of outside friends told me that once an invite is out, taking it back is inherently rude and creates unnecessary hostility, while the women coming on the trip insist I just handled a bad situation before money was spent.”
Responses were mixed. Many sided with the organizer, while others argued Kelly had been treated unfairly.
“Good call girl. And of course she’s going to try and start drama. That’s just her style if she really wanted a getaway moms weekend she could just do it herself and invite who she wanted but no, she just wants to make trouble,” one user commented.
Another added, “This was just a no win situation no matter how you handled it. Somebody was going to be upset and either way, the trip was going to be ruined. I personally would have put out a note to everyone saying that this year just didn't seem to be panning out for lots of people and that you were going to cancel it and hopefully next year you guys could pick it back up. There's going to be drama either way, so it's not going to be enjoyable.”
A third Redditor wrote, “It is rude to rescind an invite if the person has done nothing to you. Especially because you did not speak to her about it first, didn’t ask if this was resolvable, you just jumped straight to disinviting. Also, you could have changed the trip to resolve it, at a smaller different place. You picked your side and now are surprised when someone’s upset about it.”
“Kelly isn't wrong, 2 other people shouldn't get to manipulate the attendees list with that mean girl "if she comes I'm not" bs…You shouldn't have gone to Kelly with that and tried to kick her out. You tell the complainers you're not getting in the middle of that and if they don't want to go, that's their call. All you needed to do was let the group know 2 people pulled out and ask if they wanted to cancel or change venues,” wrote a separate user.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the events described in this post. The details above reflect the account shared in r/AmItheAsshole by u/HousingSpiritual3725.
