A 29-year-old woman on r/Advice asked for help after saying s** with her longtime boyfriend has become something she does “to get it done and over with.” One commenter told her to address the issue before marriage, and three others shared accounts of their own relationships.
In the post, shared Nov. 10 by u/Equivalent-Bed-6526, the woman said she has been with her 29-year-old boyfriend for five years and wants to marry him one day. She described him as “genuinely the best guy I could’ve ever asked for.”
She wrote that he is respectful when he asks about s**, never pressures her and is understanding when she declines. When she agrees, she said, she goes along so he will stop asking, then waits for it to end.
“I would very much rather be doing anything else,” she wrote.
She said she still enjoys the emotional side of intimacy, such as cuddling and togetherness, and that she feels the “urge” at times. She added that she masturbates occasionally but treats it the same way, to “get rid of the sensation.”
The poster said she enjoyed s** around ages 18 to 24, including with her partner early in their relationship, and wrote that she knows he is not the problem. She wrote that he notices her lack of enthusiasm, which makes her feel worse.
She ended the post with a summary, “I miss wanting s** like I used to. Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you overcome it?”
“It won’t get better with marriage, so address it or don’t get married,” one commenter wrote.
Another commenter replied that the remark “deserves an award.” The commenter said that in their first marriage, they waited two years before the couple became intimate and that their wife denied intimacy on their wedding night. The commenter said their wife wanted s** once a month at most and thought once every two to three months was sustainable. They wrote that they worked long hours and paid the bills, and that in the end, their needs turned “divorce is never an option” into reality. The Daily Dot could not verify their account.
A third commenter described a similar outcome. “This situation ruined my first marriage,” the commenter wrote, adding that resentment over s** and intimacy “festered on both sides.” The commenter also said their wife ended up cheating and that she “actually did me a favour.”
A fourth commenter wrote that their wife had felt the same way because the commenter was not doing enough around the house and was not giving her verbal validation for what she does for their family. The commenter said the couple is doing better but has more to do.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the details of this post, which reflect only the account shared by u/Equivalent-Bed-6526 on r/Advice.
