I discovered Twinning on a warm weeknight—curled up with my laptop in my bed, comfortably stoned. This is how I’d recommend you stream the ultimate hate-watch in television.
For those of you who don’t know—and this is not a show that’s been generating a huge amount of buzz—Twinning is a new reality competition series that premiered last week on VH1. During the mean-spirited shenanigans, 12 sets of twins compete for a large sum of money.
The twist is that they separate each set of siblings—not only are the contestants on a reality show that is about to exploit them into infamy, but now they don’t even have the comfort of being with their family. Each challenge tests their synergy (or rather, “twinergy”).
On the show, they actually refer to this as “twin-tuition.” The twin puns never end.
The reward for winning a challenge: The twins are allowed to be reunited for 24 hours, and they get to choose who’s up for elimination.
The contestants are a typical cast of misguided, desperate people you often find on VH1 reality shows:
- Skyler and Spencer, the absolute highlight of the show, are the sad weirdos. They wear the same outfit every day, “except for underwear, that’s a little creepy,” Skyler (or is it Spencer?) explains. In the first episode, it is quickly revealed that they are both virgins. (Favorite moment so far: one of them tearing up while reading a literal Hallmark card his mom gave him.)
- Adam and Cory are the dumb ladies’ men, who are obsessed with working out, but are otherwise largely boring.
- Chris and Josh are the creepy ones, who dress like they’re the long-lost members of Panic! At the Disco. Their conniving behavior lacks both charm and humor. In the opening Josh says, “We came here to twin! I can’t wait to stomp that ass!”
- Torian and Tre are the token (hot) black guys.
- Meme (pronounced “me-me,” not “meem”) and Key are typecast as angry black women, and are edited in such a way to wholly embody those revolting assumptions. Out of all the contestants, they are the ones I’d most like to be friends with. Their irrational behavior seems to stem from the fact that they are most likely being psychologically tortured by VH1 producers.
- AnnaMarie and GinaMarie (referred to as the Maries) are the Long Island-bred villains of the show. They cartoonishly play into Italian-American stereotypes, and are a beautiful combination of stupid, conniving, and mean. They are immensely entertaining. (Favorite moment so far: They try to bully Meme and Key for being from Brooklyn, as if it’s so much classier to be from Long Island.)
The show is hosted by Angie Greenup, who you’ve also never heard of, but according to Wikipedia, she is a 34-year-old comedian. She is a fine host, but perhaps the most disappointing thing about Twinning is that it’s not hosted by identical twins.
All in all, Twinning is the perfect show for those who love trash. It’s the pinnacle of cruel intention-laden, melodramatic reality TV. I can’t wait to see how the rest of the season unfolds—for a network that’s poisoned countless D-list celebs and given platforms to dating gurus who are actually monsters, Twinning is an exciting new apex.
Screengrab via VH1
