Monday – 11.2
After a week off for Halloween (we’re still waiting on Trevor Noah’s costume pics), there’s some catching up to do. Trevor talked us through the highlights–Congress managed to come to a budget deal, meaning that the government won’t be shutting down. Eleven cases of the plague have been found in the U.S., meaning that Pizza Rat suddenly doesn’t look so charming. And, in case you hadn’t heard, the Mets lost the World Series, meaning that Mets fans still remain in despair.
After the due diligence was done, Noah got down to the scary stuff: ISIS. See, in 2014, President Obama swore up and down that there would be no U.S. boots on the ground in Syria. Cut to October/November 2015, and we’re apparently sending some “shoes” over there to “advise and assist” ground forces. If that sounds a lot like boots on the ground, you should probably change your name to Sherlock Holmes. The White House can deny that boots are hitting the ground in Syria all it wants, but a Pentagon spokesman in Baghdad already blew up its spot, admitting that U.S. troops in Iraq are currently engaged in combat. Trevor Noah commends this spokesman for being a straight shooter who cuts through what the White House would probably refer to as “bovine fecal matter.” Bullshit. He cuts through bullshit.
Not a boot, promise.
Three 6 Mafia once said that it’s hard out there for a pimp. These days, it might just be harder out there for a cop. At least that’s what many police officers claim now that everyone and their mother has a cell phone camera on them at all times. This is being called the “Ferguson Effect,” and it’s being linked to the reason that violent crime is on the rise. Police are apparently afraid to do their jobs effectively because they’re afraid that their actions will be filmed and used against them. Except, Trevor Noah has some facts for everyone. Studies have shown that crime has actually been trending down for two decades, and it’s too soon to tell what the Ferguson Effect will be. The real issue here is that a few bad police officers were filmed doing their jobs poorly and violating people’s rights. “The majority of police are really good people,” Trevor Noah points out. Police are being treated unfairly because of a few bad seeds, and now they’re afraid that people are going to whip out phones and “brutally film them.” Does anyone see a parallel here, maybe?
If you see this menacing phone user, run.
Tuesday – 11.3
The Iowa Growth and Opportunity Party: It’s not an erectile dysfunction support group, but a cattle call during which 10 Republican presidential hopefuls present their case to Iowans, hoping to earn their votes during the caucus in three months. As a foreigner, Trevor Noah doesn’t get it. Daily Show correspondent Jordan Klepper isn’t able to provide any additional insight on the world’s most misguided use of the word party, either, because the Iowa GOP (that’s Growth and Opportunity Party) refused to give the show access to the event. The GOP feared that TDS was going to “make fun of Iowa.” The Daily Show? Make fun of a Republican gathering voluntarily dubbing itself a cattle call that also had Jeb Bush and a Hillary Clinton scarecrow in attendance…wherever would the GOP get that idea? Iowa did not come off well in this segment, nor did Republicans. In the future, just let The Daily Show into your fake party.
Speaking of Republicans, they’re angry. And, you wouldn’t like them when they’re angry. Actually, you might not care either way, but Trevor Noah is here to point out why they’re butthurt, because it’s hilarious. Republican presidential candidates are unhappy with the questions they’ve been getting during primary debates. They think they’re being asked much more difficult questions than Democratic presidential hopefuls. The call for more softball questions isn’t their only demand for the next Republican debate. GOP candidates also want the temperature of the room lowered so no one will see them sweat, and a promise that the camera won’t show their empty podium while they’re in the bathroom. Didn’t anyone ever tell them to pee before they leave the house or start a primary debate? What’s with this political amateur hour? If you can’t take the heat, get out of the 2016 presidential race. Don’t ask Anderson Cooper to lower the thermostat.
The solution to the empty podium problem: Podi-Potty.
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