Amy Schumer goes inside ‘Toddlers & Tiaras’ with ‘Babies & Bustiers’

BY ANDREA REIHER

Amy Schumer has done it again on Inside Amy Schumer. This time the target was Toddlers & Tiaras, though the Schumer version is called Babies & Bustiers.

Schumer is “Amy Merryweather Sherman” and she was “put on this green Earth to win pageants and spread the word of the Almighty.” Her mother Cleopatricia is played by Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls, Best in Show), in a brilliant bit of casting. She gave her daughter “Fetal Red Bull Disease,” which means lil’ Amy is 6 years old but aging at “five times the normal rate.”

“I love mama ’cause she’s my best friend. She’s my support systems. She always yells at me for eatin’ food,” says lil’ Amy. 

“Every stage mother I met is absolutely crazy, and it’s weird to be the only grounded one in the bunch,” says Cleo. “You know, if God didn’t want this for my daughter, then why the hell did he make her so friggin’ attractive?” 

Everything’s going well … until lil’ Amy’s bosom pops out during a performance. “I’m real upset my t**** ball popped out, but I’m not gonna let that or anything stop me from sharing my talent with these future believers,” says Amy, because as it turns out, her talent is preachin’.

But when she gets her period on stage during her big sermon, she is disqualified. Lil’ Amy Merryweather Sherman eventually “grew to be 9 feet tall and exploded all over everyone at a Cracker Barrel.”

Screengrab via Comedy Central