Internet Culture

How to be a teenager, according to Yahoo! Answers

Thanks to the Internet, teenagers have it soooo easy seeking answers to life’s hardest questions.

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Jordan Valinsky

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Thanks to the Internet, teenagers have it soooo easy seeking answers to life’s hardest questions—but it wasn’t always like that!

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Back when I was a youngster, the only sources of information about teen things, like shoplifting and how to smuggle alcohol into the movies, was to ask my friends or watch Friends. Now, teens have Yahoo! Answers and the incognito browser option to discover life’s more embarrassing questions without anyone ever knowing.

Maybe we’re always this weird, but the stuff you find on Yahoo! Answers reveals the deeply troubling world teenagers deal with every day.

So in honor of Yahoo!’s 18th birthday (at least that’s what Answers says), we’re honoring the 12 most important teen issues to appear on the Internet’s glossary for the smartset.

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1) Shoplifting

How do you steal from Hollister?

2) Cheating on the SAT

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How do you do it?

3) Asking a girl out on a date

What if she says no?! Will you die?

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4) Having sex with a girl for the first time

How do you get to know the lady parts?

5) Masturbating in school

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Where are the best places to J your D?

6) Hiding your pimples

What do you do?!

7) Beating up a bully

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Do you have any fighting strategies, Yahoo! Answers?


8) Pirating music

What’s a good website?

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9) Immaculate conception 

Can you get pregnant from being fingered?

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10) Fashion

Can i wear a maxi dress to an 18th birthday? (Sure?)

 

 
The Daily Dot