A viral Twitter thread has turned Rihanna fans into GIF-scrutinizing detectives. It suggests that Rihanna, a living goddess who is capable of swerving on Drake himself, is incapable of winking.
🚨 Rihanna can’t wink: A mini thread 🚨
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
That’s right. She can’t shut just one eye. She has to shut both.
No that’s two eyes Robyn pic.twitter.com/nIDRMLK4J6
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
We have to admit, @NotAgainBen presents pretty compelling evidence.
It started with such hope but nope, that’s a blink pic.twitter.com/GzwwcjyaPz
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
He argues that even when it looks like Riri is winking, she’s actually blinking.
This looks like a wink but on closer inspection… nope, blink pic.twitter.com/pOwy2hxl48
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
Her “method” is meant to cover her inability to wink.
You see Rihanna’s method is to close both eyes and then open one before the other which… well that’s not winking pic.twitter.com/M0MIyWjoLm
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
But @NotAgainBen is onto her.
She goes in with her left eye BUT THAT GODDAMN RIGHT ONE can’t let it go and live. pic.twitter.com/E3XIdcMxTH
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
And he’s not letting this go.
RIHANNA STOP FUCKING BLINKING pic.twitter.com/sVGHcoOluX
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
Even if Rihanna seems to give zero fucks.
It’s like she just gave up here pic.twitter.com/Vbmcx3HyqM
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
Because @NotAgainBen cares. He cares a lot.
This is better but see that other eye noT LETTING THE OTHER ONE BE FREE pic.twitter.com/5rhk5TjdjZ
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
Y’all think she winking but she’s goddamn blinking fgs rih pic.twitter.com/dxWevnJOHa
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
He swears the critique is coming from a place of love.
So yeah, she’s a queen in life but Robyn Rihanna Fenty can’t wink. Who knew?
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
FIN.
And he won’t stand for you telling him he’s wrong.
For everybody telling me this is her winking HER OTHER GODDAMN EYE IS HALF CLOSING TOO pic.twitter.com/5qofnjdhw2
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
But is he wrong, though?
we need to examine what’s happening in this one… look closely… does she land the wink at Drake??? pic.twitter.com/s4pI1MOjb3
— Mark Sundstrom (@106th) August 26, 2016
Some have argued that there’s a simple explanation for all of this.
https://twitter.com/MUHFUGGINJKELLS/status/769355467856474114
But surely there’s more to the story.
We already know Rihanna hangs out with Tupac’s ghost.
https://twitter.com/MichaelGeorgino/status/690706007467503618
And she’s a self-proclaimed “illuminati princess.”
Still from Rihanna’s S&M. Once again, bunny ears (Alice in Wonderland programming) & Princess of Illuminati on wall. pic.twitter.com/5MNKoW0elJ
— Pepperina Deplorable (@AmericanMined) March 17, 2016
And, dear lord, she listens to heavy metal?!?!
Thread: Rihanna supporting a weird heavy metal band which seems to be illuminati.
— 𝘭𝘶𝘬𝘢𝘴 aka RihannaPromoTeam (@shexluke) August 28, 2016
You know those blinks have got to mean something—but what? Break the silence Rih! Tell us!
Stop looking at us like that.
Rihanna is so bad pic.twitter.com/1xuw0vwtL0
— JP (@Jprz1321) August 29, 2016
We know there’s a conspiracy here!
Rihanna is a conspiracy theory, no way a human looks like that without genetic modification
— Bri Lilly (@bri__lilly) August 29, 2016
OK, she’s a robot. That’s gotta be it.
https://twitter.com/hayleeschaefer/status/770078979831332865
It all adds up.
H/T Jezebel
