Thursday night’s Republican presidential debate was a certifiable hot mess, and we’re not talking about the constant interruptions or total lack of respect for women.
Nope, it wasn’t what these men had to say on complex topics like immigration and taxes that drew our attention, but rather what they were wearing. With all the money they have, you’d think that there would be a little more pizazz to their duds.
So forget about weighing their résumés and qualifications as they battle for a shot at the presidency: It’s the clothes make the man, right?
Jeb Bush
Fox News
While Jeb might have been gifted a bunch of policy advisors by other members of the Bush clan, that suit is most definitely not a hand-me-down. His glasses also perfectly framed his face, especially when he was visibly frustrated about being second to Donald Trump in the polls.
Rand Paul
Fox News
Rand’s designer shirt and tie match the Fox News red and Facebook blue right behind him; quite a clever decision for an outfit that tells a story. And we’re all dying to know who did his hair! Whatta stunner.
Ted Cruz
Fox News
Teddy was the only candidate who went with a striped tie. Bold move. Too bad that boldness didn’t translate into his debate skills last night.
Chris Christie
Fox News
Christie, Christie, Christie. Yes, that green bracelet might be for a good cause but it does not match with your tie choice. We can’t all be worried about philanthropic support—you should look better color-coordinated than a second-grader if you’re going to be on national television.
Marco Rubio
Fox News
Eyebrows on fleek, baby. And since he wore the same exact outfit as Paul, we have to ask: Who wore it better?
John Kasich
Fox News
Kasich, going for a typical Ohio look. And he’s had such a glow lately! We’ll have to ask him what skin moisturizer he’s been using.
Ben Carson
Fox News
Honestly, best tie choice out of all the fellows out there tonight. Not only can he operate on brains, he has a brain for fashion.
Scott Walker
Fox News
Walker also has some sort of effervescent glow to him. Must be all those lives he saved by cutting funding for Planned Parenthood.
Mike Huckabee
Fox News
He looks like he’s ready to go to his daughter’s tap dance recital.
Donald Trump
Fox News
With his purported fortune, you’d think that Trump would look like a million bucks at least. But despite this underwhelming look, his troublesome hair was tamed for the night—luckily for his hairdresser, who would otherwise have heard the Don deliver a trademark “You’re fired!”
Who do you think had the look of the night? Carson with his tie? Rubio with his well-groomed eyebrows? Be sure to tell us on Twitter!
Illustration by Max Fleishman
