This is what happens when you touch the Queen’s Guard

Funny costume. Deadly weapon.

Miles Klee

Updated on May 28 2021 11:47 am CDT

Tourists love the Queen’s Guard of Britain: They’ve got bright red coats, big fuzzy hats, and an infinite patience for onlookers who find their strutting ridiculous. Also, enormous automatic rifles with bayonets to brandish when they finally do snap at some irritating dingbat.

Yes, today we remember that getting trampled by Her Majesty’s soldiers isn’t so bad when one considers just how liable and willing these dudes are to stab and/or shoot you in the face.

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The Queen must feel very safe indeed.

Photo via Sigmar/Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

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Miles Klee

Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He’s the author of two odd books of fiction, ‘Ivyland’ and ‘True False.’