The Olympics concluded with a closing ceremony that effectively passed the torch to Tokyo for 2020. Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe emerged from a warp pipe with a red Mario cap in one hand and a red ball reminiscent of the country’s flag in another.
But as the world watched elite athletes throughout the weeks of festivities in Rio, the idea of laying a different kind of pipe entered their minds.
Spoiler alert: everyone watched a shitload of Olympics-related porn.
According to Pornhub, which released its gold medal stats on Tuesday, the crowd was going wild for all things Olympian. Searches for “Olympic” and “Olympian” shot up by thousands of percentage points, hitting their peaks on Aug. 7. Smut lovers also took an added interest in host city Rio de Janeiro.
Those in the Brazilian city itself appeared to be watching way more porn over the course of the games. Pornhub’s initiative to give free premium access to users in Rio may have something to do with that jump of up to 15 percent more traffic.
In terms of sports-related searches, volleyball reigned supreme. The long list of terms is not at all surprising, save for the bougie fucks seeking “sailing” porn. Sorry, but there is nothing sexy about boats.
Digging deeper into that data, volleyball searches hit an incredible high of 576 percent above average. The bronze search of “volleyball ass” is perhaps the most creative, as is judo’s “judo footjob.” Normal “judo” and “nude judo” took gold and silver.
Pornhub has done an amazing job of consistently capturing the zeitgeist by way of its users’s search habits. If the Olympics, Harambe, and Pokémon can morph into our deepest sexual desires, who knows what’s next?
