It’s impossible to not see it the second you look at one of the pictures. The Pope holds his mic like a rapper.
His psalms are sweaty, knees weak, cross is heavy pic.twitter.com/fswDx2yQ4I
— andycam (@andycam_) November 30, 2015
It’s so obvious that anyone who has ever seen a rap video (e.g. probably not the Pope) can recognize it immediately.
This, of course, has led to Twitter having a field day, imagining the fire and brimstone that the Most Holy Father might be spitting. On Saturday, flying home from Cairo, he spoke to reporters about the increasingly tense relationship between the United States and North Korea.
Pope urges mediation to end N.Korea crisis, avert devastating war https://t.co/dYqEUly9Ab pic.twitter.com/dD0JEgDQFZ
— Reuters Africa (@ReutersAfrica) April 30, 2017
It’s a serious situation, and one Pope Francis said could lead to the destruction of “a good part of humanity.”
Buuuuuuut, that picture is too perfect to be left alone. It literally looks like his boys are holding him back in the middle of a fierce rap battle.
**BEAT DROPS**
— Luis Miguel Echegaray (@lmechegaray) April 30, 2017
Pope: “oh shiiiiiiit….Microphone check one two what is this, the pope of the Francisus with the roughneck business-” pic.twitter.com/NuQLiEaOSQ
“Allow me to reintroduce myself my name is POPE
— It’s HIM (@Mr_Alexius) April 30, 2017
P to the O-P(E)
I still save souls, call me goalie
From the devil, this flight is now holy” pic.twitter.com/Yn1HWv4JMV
https://twitter.com/4MMarc/status/858634210617303040
Garrett Green of New York City was feeling particularly inspired and dropped ten whole verses that are legitimately pretty tight.
Vatican is my city
— Garrett Green (@garrettgreen) April 30, 2017
Never seen a titty
But I still spit fire
Drop Psalms like bombs
And prayers mad witty pic.twitter.com/92ZbqEjUaF
Don’t keep me waiting
— Garrett Green (@garrettgreen) April 30, 2017
Never catch me hating
Only preach one diss track
So hit the play button, Satan pic.twitter.com/OPEnxgy8vh
One name, Pope
— Garrett Green (@garrettgreen) April 30, 2017
Rhymes tight like rope
Used to cook crack
Now I slang hope pic.twitter.com/S5PqiXa4Ur
Bishop of Rome
— Garrett Green (@garrettgreen) May 1, 2017
God blowing up my phone
Got your girl on her knees
For confessions not dome pic.twitter.com/rwU5mekdfL
Water always holy
— Garrett Green (@garrettgreen) May 1, 2017
The Spirit on tap
Sinners always tripping
Till I give ’em a slap pic.twitter.com/4jYaPmyN98
Back like a resurrection
— Garrett Green (@garrettgreen) May 1, 2017
King of the church, no election
Swipe right for forgiveness
JC the selection pic.twitter.com/RZo056HRwM
Okay technically the Pope is elected, but we’ll let it slide.
Some call me Pope
— Garrett Green (@garrettgreen) May 2, 2017
Others know I’m Frank
Blood of Christ got me leaning
Bread of heaven always dank pic.twitter.com/4FcOkKqHky
Run the church so long
— Garrett Green (@garrettgreen) May 2, 2017
Got two Testaments
Rap game so raw
Had to give it up for lent pic.twitter.com/ohIQJnt6tI
Preaching, never quit
— Garrett Green (@garrettgreen) May 2, 2017
Only Pope that’s Jesuit
Satan got that fire
But God’s forgiveness, it’s lit pic.twitter.com/aJ4sqENjaX
If you come stepping
— Garrett Green (@garrettgreen) May 2, 2017
The name’s His Holiness
Sinners skipping Mass
Pearly gates is what you’ll miss pic.twitter.com/0my2by62fC
Pope Francis has shown himself to be a man with a good sense of humor, so he probably wouldn’t be offended by any of this but, if you have the time, he’d probably appreciate you actually taking a few minutes out of your day to meditate about ways to prevent World War III for rizzle.
