Warning: The following article features sexually explicit tweets that are NSFW.
“The Feast of the Sacred Heart reminds us that God loved us first: He is always waiting for us, welcoming us into His Heart And Asshole.”
No, that isn’t a line from an Assassin’s Creed porn fanfic. Welcome to “Pontifux,” a new horny Twitter account that’s sure to give you an eye-opening look into the papacy’s personal life.
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1047920966142021632
Pontifux, or @pontidottxt, works a lot like other .txt accounts on Twitter: It regularly posts new, out-of-context tweets curated around a specific theme. In this case, Pontifux merges the Pope’s official Twitter account with tweets from various lewd accounts and .txt feeds, creating some incredibly hilarious mashups that talk about everything from masturbating to watching anime porn.
The account was created by Twitter user ProdigalFailson, who went viral on Thursday after using TweetMashup.com to merge Pope Francis’ Twitter account with JAV Titles, a .txt Twitter feed that grabs Japanese porn video titles and posts them out of context.
https://twitter.com/ProdigalFailson/status/1047714691684827137
Pontifux has since taken on a life of its own by combining tweets from such accounts as Rule34.txt and masturbate.log. Here’s a few to get you started.
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1049073541205778437
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1048433034708439040
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1048783017198551040
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1048832254468714497
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1048505776774336512
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1049072581427351553
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1048437904706424833
Some of Pontifux’s tweets get pretty kinky.
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1048173156685344768
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1047750496885194752
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1049186021689020416
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1049178672790261760
And just flat out gross.
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1048405022893998081
As it is written in the Gospel, Jesus came.
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1048188071777165312
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1048176237653319680
https://twitter.com/pontidottxt/status/1048175265510174720
It didn’t take long for Twitter to join in on the fun as Pontifux’s tweets have blown up across the site.
https://twitter.com/ezgoodnight/status/1048017151968403461
https://twitter.com/KHKw2k/status/1048865838395285504
https://twitter.com/superginrai/status/1047959414530080768
probably not going to heaven
— Ammnontet! (@ammnontet) October 7, 2018
shoutout to @pontidottxt pic.twitter.com/KVkCrIW3zK
His Holiness’ thirstiness is proving too much for some Twitter users to handle.
https://twitter.com/lowenergylaura/status/1048189688153104385
https://twitter.com/Tiny_Dic/status/1049168019681730560
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While Pontifux is a more recent phenomenon, Twitter mashups aren’t anything particularly new. Pontifux’s formula is pretty simple too, and users can create their own porn-inspired tweets by simply combining any account with a lewd .txt feed. Here’s how our Twitter feed stacks up through the site.
Chilling. Maybe it’s time for us to switch focus.
