If you hadn’t already done yourself the favor of unfollowing comedian Patton Oswalt on Twitter, you probably saw that he threw one of his trademark tantrums there last night. Buckle up, social justice weenies!
The subtext—if these 54 tweets (there are two No. 8’s for some reason) possess any nuance whatsoever—is Oswalt’s repeatedly established disdain for political correctness, a position he trumpets like a Republican congressman from 1994. His trigger this time: the backlash against fellow funnyman Trevor Noah, who was discovered to have written some bad tweets before Comedy Central announced that he would replace the departing Jon Stewart as host of The Daily Show.
Here comes Oswalt to his defense.
(1/53) Q: Why did the man* throw* butter* out of the window*? A: He wanted to see* butter fly*!
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(2/53) “Man” in my previous Tweet should not be construed as privileged, misogynist or anti-trans.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(3/53) Nor should there be ANY assumption of said man’s race or religion. It could be an African American man, Asian, or any one
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(4/53) of the vast multi-cultural mosaic which make up the world we live in today. “Man” was simply an archaic placeholder for the
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(5/53) “subject” of the joke, and thus should not denote privilege nor exclude any sexuality, religion, nationality or offend any
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(6/53) feelings the joke listener may or may not have or have ever experienced in the past. Furthermore, the action of “throwing” is
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(7/53) NOT meant in any way to imply an exclusion of the differently abled, or even someone who@may have ever felt excluded from
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(8/53) or knows someone who was thus excluded.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(8/53) And the choice of “butter” as the object being thrown was in NO WAY an insult to those with a strict lacto-vegan diet or
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(9/53) ANYONE who may be lactose intolerant, might KNOW someone who is lactose-intolerant (or knows someone who is ka to-vegan) or
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(10/53) may meet someone of those two persuasions anytime in the future. Also, “butter” does not mean the joke-teller is unaware of
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(11/53) or insensitive to the abuses in our current factory-farming dairy industry, including neglect of animals or additions of
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(12/53) hormones, pesticides or other contaminants. Also, PLEASE accept this pre-emptive apology if the word “butter” was a trigger
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(13/53) for any time in the past the joke recipient may have been called a “butter face” or knows someone who was insulted in such a
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(14/53) fashion. Aesthetic shaming is real and bullying hurts us all.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(15/53) Also, again, privilege. What else? Oh yes…
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(16/53) “Out the window” was NOT meant as any sort of insult to the homeless population, in that the phrase “out the window”
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(17/53) could EASILY be construed as placing the butter-thrower in a house which
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(18/53) the butter thrower owns.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(19/53) The triggering potential for “out the window” is not to be underestimated.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(20/53) Nor should the act of THROWING AWAY food, which can be read as a violent, corporate-centric status maneuver.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(21/53) Privilege.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(22/53) Privilege.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(23/53) Privilege?
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(24/53) PRIVILEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’nnn
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(25/53) The pronoun “he” in the 2nd part of the joke should, again, NOT be taken
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(26/53) as a patriarchal assumption.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(27/53) Parts 28 through 36 will simply be the word “problematic” for your use in any other interpretation of the pronoun “he”
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(28/53) Problematic.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(29/53) Problematic.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(30/53) Problematic.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(31/53) Problematic
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(32/53) Problematic.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(33/53) Problematic.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(34/53) Problematic
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(35/53) Problematic
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(36/53) Problematic
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(37/53) “See” is, we all know, VERY POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING to any seeing impaired or blind people hearing the joke
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(38/53) And, again, a pre-emotive apology is meekly offered.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(39/53) And the fact that Twitter does NOT offer a Braille version of its website is part of a larger problem
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(40/53) which the joke was IN ABSOLUTELY NO WAY making light of.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(41/53) Finally, the fact the man wanted to see butter “fly”
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(42/53) implies a flippant attitude towards mental illness or the subjects lack of abstract or
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(43/53) or symbolic/empathetic thought which was NOT the aim of the joke
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(44/53) or the joke teller. But context, as we know, does not matter. Only individual words and feelings do, so
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(45/53) as always, and from now on, no matter what the intent, aim, or satirical content
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(46/53) the deepest apology is offered to ANYONE
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(47/53) ANYWHERE
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(48/53) for ANY REASON WHATSOEVER
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(49/53) who found any offense in the previous joke.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(50/53) Jokes should always entertain. EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO HEARS THEM.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(51/53) A simple series of clarifying post-joke Tweets like the ones I just sent out will insure EVERYONE a gentle, comforting chuckle.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(52/53) Welcome to comedy in 2015, @Trevornoah!
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
(53/53) Also, the “come” part of “welcome” shouldn’t be construed in a “faggy” way.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 1, 2015
Another bravura performance. Perhaps Oswalt is absolutely right, and it’s time we started thinking about the real victims here: famous, well-compensated comedians who can basically say whatever they want and still count on the support of their global media conglomerate overlords.
Photo via Gage Skidmore/Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)
