Opinion
“Each day on twitter there is one main character,” Twitter user @maplecocaine once tweeted. “The goal is to never be it.”
Today, that displeasure goes to megachurch pastor John Hagee, who accidentally penned a kink tweet to his 424,300 followers. “Obedience brings blessings, and disobedience brings consequences,” he declared Tuesday afternoon. His Christian following agreed, and all seemed right in the God-fearing world.
Obedience brings blessings, and disobedience brings consequences.
— Pastor John Hagee (@PastorJohnHagee) August 6, 2019
AMEN
— JASAM4EVER (@JASAM4EVER1) August 6, 2019
And while we can choose to disobey, we don’t get to choose the consequences. #truth 🙏
— Andrew DeCurtis (@ADeCurtis3) August 6, 2019
But for kink-inclined internet denizens, Hagee’s tweet doesn’t sound chaste. Obedience plays an enormous role in BDSM’s dominant-submissive relationships (D/s). Subs receive sexual pleasure by submitting to a dom’s power, and chants like “it feels good to obey” are commonly ordered by doms to their pets. Sure, Hagee may have tweeted about his devotion to God, but if you’re more familiar with kneeling in the bedroom than in the chapel, his warning comes off as really horny.
this literally looks like a mantra a domme has her sub recite while she masturbates or something i had to double check that this is a real pastor and not a pro-domme sw advertising account
— cohost.org/shel (@workingdog_) August 9, 2019
Once sex workers and queer Twitter users found Hagee’s post, he was officially branded Friday’s horny-on-main user.
https://twitter.com/Science_Hooker/status/1159749389503647744
I’m sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty.
— Space Monkey Mafia (@ChaKatKimber) August 9, 2019
https://twitter.com/dominatrixlux/status/1159797572506046464
Sounds like I need a spanking.
— Divine Goddess Jessica (@OBEYDGJ) August 9, 2019
https://twitter.com/TinkerB1985/status/1159785153167859712
— Thorne 🌸 (@ExistentialEnso) August 9, 2019
Not to mention, Vice President Mike Pence just told the the anti-LGBTQ Alliance Defending Freedom to “spend more time on your knees than on the internet,” which is ridiculously thirsty. This reporter understands why Pence won’t spend alone time with women now. He’s just as slutty as the rest of us, and God knows there’s no place for that in a Christian marriage.
https://twitter.com/nectarina12/status/1159652414506455041
https://twitter.com/dearydarling/status/1159758389452386305
https://twitter.com/Lun_rLambda/status/1159819459462422528
Step aside, Hot Girl Summer. Let it be known, summer 2019 is now Horny Christian Summer. So fall on your knees, because as this reporter tweeted, “Being obedient whips ass.”
Being obedient whips ass
— Ana Valens (@acvalens) August 9, 2019
That shit fucks
— Ana Valens (@acvalens) August 9, 2019
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