Relationships can be tricky to navigate because you’ve got this whole other person with a whole mystery box full of life experiences, upbringings, traits, habits, and deep dark skeletons in their closets. Getting to intimately know another person is like slowly peeling back the layers of an onion—by the first layer you might learn that they don’t like 30 Rock, but by the inner layers you might learn that when they were a teenager, accidentally hit and killed a drifter while driving to the beach with some friends.
Okay, that was just a partial description of the movie I Know What You Did Last Summer. However, Weekly Standard reporter Haley Byrd learned an arguably even darker secret about her boyfriend.
Not only had he never eaten a Kat Kat bar before, but he ate it like this when he tried his first one.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had a Kit Kat before,” my boyfriend remarks before doing THIS pic.twitter.com/UQbuD3Etpg
— Haley Byrd Wilt (@byrdinator) June 1, 2018
he had no idea why I laughed so hard. oh sweet summer child
— Haley Byrd Wilt (@byrdinator) June 1, 2018
What. In. The. Actual.
Of course, everyone knows that one eats a Kit Kat by breaking apart the individual bars and eating them separately. Everybody knows that. Heck, there was literally an entire marketing campaign dedicated to the correct way to consume a Kit Kat.
Could this be a breadcrumb to a bigger secret that Haley is going to learn about her boyfriend? That he grew up on an Amish farm before going AWOL during rumspringa or that his parents kept him locked in the attack until he turned 18?
The rest of Twitter shared Haley’s confusion and amusement—and in some cases, shock and horror—as her tweet went viral.
https://twitter.com/obrienjohnjack/status/1002358897498181633
Does he eat bananas sideways? How about pistachios? Does he take the shell off before chewing?
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahDispatch) June 1, 2018
give him a break (up with him)
— Pete Cannon (@coffeewithcats) June 1, 2018
1. “There’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s.”
— Ken Jones (@KenJones81) June 1, 2018
2. Kit Kats are not Reese’s.
3. This is wrong.
https://twitter.com/launicaangelina/status/1002346265399779328
https://twitter.com/jamie_westlake/status/1002342834920411137
Haley also didn’t exactly help her boyfriend’s case. Does she also think a hot dog is a sandwich?
https://twitter.com/byrdinator/status/1002343431694442496
— A.C. Spollen (@ACSpollen) June 1, 2018
One person compared the faux pas to George Costanza eating a Snickers bar with a knife and fork:
https://twitter.com/Obe1Cannoli/status/1002343672376012800
Even CNN’s Jake Tapper and Dictionary.com weighed in:
Break up with him at once https://t.co/522TLFnZxl
— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) June 1, 2018
Break off: What one does to a @KITKAT.
— Dictionary.com (@Dictionarycom) June 1, 2018
Also break off: What one might do to a relationship with someone who does this 👇 https://t.co/CB2ws6lBUd
Others came forward with their own weird candy eating stories.
I know someone who does this. Reader, I married him. We don’t talk about it. He eats his Kit Kats away from home. @rfpaul
— I Am Diễm (@JeakPaul) June 1, 2018
This is how my daughter eats twizzlers. LoL pic.twitter.com/pXGckh7THB
— 🎃🪩☕️MamaFrimp☕️🪩🎃 (@LuckyLLD) June 1, 2018
And at least one person admitted to doing it themselves.
#Rookie pic.twitter.com/N5QtUNX1CX
— ░H░A░I░K░U░ ░J░O░N░A░H░ (@HaikuJonah) June 1, 2018
In all seriousness, though, suggesting that someone break up with their boyfriend over the way he eats a candy bar is a little extreme. With some couples counseling, they might be able to work through this.
