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Kanye West’s rules for fashion models are absurd—but these are worse

He didn’t go far enough.

Photo of Miles Klee

Miles Klee

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Work as a fashion model is never easy—but serving as the live mannequin for Kanye West‘s clothes is reportedly a whole different pain in the ass. 

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Does this Snapchat image currently making the rounds really depict the rules of conduct for Kanye’s models on the runway, or is it just this easy to create a fake document written in the voice of an egomaniacal mogul?

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For real, though: Kanye is at such a volatile, hysterical stage of celebrity right now that I’d put the odds of fakery here at 50-50. It’s literally just a Snapchat photo of a piece of paper, and nobody has confirmed its authenticity.

To prove my point, here are some additional “rules” we could easily add:

  • DON’T THINK ABOUT YOUR HAIR OR HANDS
  • WALK LIKE YOU ARE BEING PILOTED BY TINY ROBOTS
  • DETECT GRAVITATIONAL WAVES
  • RESEMBLE A FLOWER MADE OF SILKEN GARBAGE
  • NO ENJOYMENT  
  • HOW ABOUT BLINKING LESS
  • I’M NOT HAPPY IN MY MARRIAGE
  • ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW CHILL BILL NYE IS
  • STOP READING THIS
  • ONE OF YOU WILL BETRAY ME, ANOTHER WILL DENY ME 
  • JET FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS
  • [MAKE UP YOUR OWN RULE HERE AND FOLLOW IT]
  • I WILL REPLACE YOU WITH A TINY HORSE IF I HAVE TO
  • COCAINE IS FINE
  • SANITY IS RELATIVE
  • YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MEMORIZING AT LEAST 4 ~GOOD~ EPISODES OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE
  • YOU ARE ALIVE
  • YOU AREN’T NAKED—THOSE ARE THE CLOTHES
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See? Now I’m an iconic, eccentric, power-mad designer. See you in Paris this spring.

Photo via Peter Hutchins/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)  

 
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