Internet Culture

Store clerk scares off machete-wielding robbers with even bigger sword

This dude was prepared for anything.

Miles Klee

Updated on May 28 2021 3:26 am CDT

As a wise person once said, “Never bring a machete to a scimitar fight.”

Two would-be robbers looking to knock over a Pittsburgh convenience store with swords last Friday found themselves overmatched when the clerk turned out to have a much, much bigger blade on hand.

In a local news report featuring surveillance footage of the attack, the clerk explained that he also kept a gun under the front counter but hadn’t felt the need to use it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVEmOQRgqwk

These guys would have had better luck just buying some lottery tickets.

H/T The Morning Call | Photo via Ricardo Luque/Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

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Miles Klee

Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He’s the author of two odd books of fiction, ‘Ivyland’ and ‘True False.’