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Internet Culture

People have thoughts about this sperm extraction machine for anxious donors

‘Automatic sperm extractor is my new tinder bio.’

Photo of Nahila Bonfiglio

Nahila Bonfiglio

Sperm extractor

Hands-free technology has reached a whole new level.

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A Chinese hospital is reportedly employing the use of high-tech machines to ease the process for sperm donors and infertility patients. The machines made headlines for obvious reasons back in 2012 when they were originally developed. The internet has changed a lot since then.

Pictures of the “sperm extractor”—a white and grey machine complete with a small, rhythmically thrusting attachment—showed back up online this week and quickly went viral. People don’t know how to feel about a machine specially made to jerk men off, but they have plenty to say about it.

https://twitter.com/AngryManTV/status/1114259441384398853

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The machine is reportedly intended to ease the process for men who struggle to retrieve sperm through traditional methods. It resembles a much more advanced version of the semen extraction tools often used on cattle and stallions, but minus the handlers. It even comes equipped with a small screen, where patients can view erotic images to help the process along.

The speed, height, temperature, and frequency can all be adjusted to suit each patient. Predictably, people online had sperm extraction jokes, um, locked and loaded.

https://twitter.com/andrewIbrooks/status/1115954769686876160

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https://twitter.com/KyleisSorry/status/1115473654903492609

https://twitter.com/hallelujahhorse/status/1115685756956172288

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https://twitter.com/Tweet_Dec/status/1115531276776243200

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https://twitter.com/RenoLantana/status/1115626280446197761

Some people had some very valid concerns, like how the machine gets cleaned between donors.

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https://twitter.com/DiffPoint_view/status/1115562340705914881

https://twitter.com/danielledash/status/1115597565758586883?s=21

The machines debuted Zhengzhou Central Hospital in China back in 2012. They made their Twitter meme debut on Monday.

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The Daily Dot