Come for the laughs, then stay for the discourse, the arguments, the origination of many popular memes, the objectively *problematic,* but, most importantly, the culture that drives the internet. Welcome to what the web has deemed Black Twitter. As Twitter evolved as a medium, a subculture emerged that felt more like a barbershop than a typical social network. It felt like home.
Whether it’s a discussion on the differences between “thick” and “fat,” the minimum amount that you need to spend on a date, LeBron James’ hairline, white privilege, or the gender war, every single day is a thrill ride. You can cry from laughing, have your entire perspective changed, and be extremely offended all within the same minute. There’s truly no place like it and though there are plenty of perfect tweets, here are 29 great ones.
1)
*white people breathe a sigh of relief* pic.twitter.com/gUP6ivUH8T
— Desus MF Nice💯 (@desusnice) December 12, 2014
This list wouldn’t be a list without a tweet from Desus Nice. No one is better at synthesizing white people than Black Twitter, and here he highlights one of the truest facts on the planet: white people love dogs. A lot. Like put their actual human kid on a leash while wearing their dog in a baby Bjorn a lot.
But since you are now here…
Stay for knowing when to stay in your lane
2)
jayz at the #lemonade listening party like pic.twitter.com/5kDR7cMPLe
— tracy clayton jr the 3rd (@brokeymcpoverty) April 24, 2016
Remember when Jay-Z *allegedly* cheated on Beyoncé, got beat up in an elevator by Solange, inspired an album debut on HBO and a multi-million dollar worldwide tour as a result? We’re playing checkers and the Carters are playing Peruvian backgammon.
3)
https://twitter.com/fivefifths/status/764985647006220292
It goes without saying, but this dude has to quit track and might need to stop running altogether, because reaching the peak of your craft only to see yourself become a laughable meme is as disheartening as it gets.
4)
https://twitter.com/RealLifeKaz/statuses/375702216469790720
Don’t worry, Jay isn’t immune to these tweets either. Although it appears that he IS very immune to playing sports correctly.
Stay for the ridiculous and problematic
5)
Y’all pray for my cousin Muhammad ain’t nothin wrong with him he just look like a honeybun pic.twitter.com/ypauLYAOtn
— SEX IS FREE🐍 (@hoop_tilidie) August 9, 2014
Jokes aside, there is no denying that poor Muhammad here looks exactly like a honey bun. In fact, it has reached the point where you would even say that some honey buns look like Muhammad.
6)
https://twitter.com/paricalvia/status/496535577052086272?lang=en
You’ll find extremely talented individuals on Black Twitter in just about every field. However, that doesn’t always mean they’ll use their powers for good. Sometimes they’ll photoshop Tiger Woods and Jay-Z babies.
7)
“It was Dionne Warwick, Fam…” pic.twitter.com/5WqBlMNJB5
— Haze 𓅊 (@GodSon83) April 14, 2016
Yea.
8)
MY NIGGA UR BEING HARANGUED IN TORONTO THE FUCK U DOING EATING A LASER? GET IN THE FUCKIN BOOTH U WING pic.twitter.com/eqbgj2aoIZ
— THE KID MERO 🇩🇴 (@THEKIDMERO) August 4, 2015
Mero here managed to summarize the cultural impact of the Drake v. Meek Mill rap battle—a fight Meek lost harder than the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead—and effectively used the word “harangue” all in the same tweet. Also: Drake played a PowerPoint presentation of tweets he stole from Black Twitter to go at Meek during a concert. Black Twitter won a rap battle, you guys.
9)
Nobody. I’m at mom’s crib in AZ eating roast pork. I told him meet me in Temecula RT @DMArtestQB: @SnottieDrippen lol. Who u fighting. Lol
— I Always Keep A Can Of Tuna On Me (@SnottieDrippen) December 26, 2014
If that sounds outrageous and completely made up, you wouldn’t be wrong to assume that. But it did. A man left his children on Christmas morning to drive his car for hours to fight a man in Temecula, California after getting in a Twitter argument over Kobe Bryant, only to find out that the man he wanted to fight was at his mother’s house in Arizona. Definitely not a Father of the Year nominee.
Stay for the politics
10)
No better summation of being black in America. At the highest level having to be gracious to white people who do nothing but disrespect you. pic.twitter.com/BackyEreMw
— Travon (@Travon) November 10, 2016
Watching our country’s first black President pass the baton to Donald Trump was a tough pill to swallow for Black Twitter. We didn’t want Barry to go and it didn’t feel officially real until this moment.
11)
I just made a list for why Im voting for Obama and not voting for Romney. http://t.co/lX52HNmt
— 🦫✨America Is Musty✨🦫 (@DragonflyJonez) October 4, 2012
One of the more important tweets in Black Twitter history. When Barack Obama was in office, we didn’t want the experience to end after only four years—so we needed to run the numbers on the opposition. And, as it turned out, that motherfucker’s name was actually Mitt. An absolutely damning reason not to be president.
12)
https://twitter.com/TheDiLLon1/status/780594006841589760
Black Twitter did an amazing job capturing the best bromance in executive branch history. While the tweets and memes made us feel like we took their relationship for granted, it’s rare to see a president and vice president love and admire one another so much. They were homies, for real.
Stay for celebs keeping it a little too real
13)
Scarlett johanneson I will drink ur bath water…#random
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) January 17, 2011
A perk of Twitter is the access it gives you to celebrities, athletes, and essentially anyone deemed “important.” That also means it gives you a glimpse into their personality and, well, it gets interesting.
14)
Fyi…LOCATEYOURLOVE.COM is NOT an advice website. It’s an actually on-line DATING SITE. Pictures and everything. Basically a hook-up site.
— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) May 5, 2010
In this series of “you haven’t deleted this shit yet?” we have hot-take extraordinaire and professional ESPN arguer Stephen A. Smith in a one-sided online battle against a presumed dating site that can best be described as PREPOSTEROUS.
15)
Ray Allen was one of the best pure shooters I’ve ever seen.
— OrdioMongo (@OrdioMongo) November 1, 2016
He also has the greatest ‘should-have-been-a-DM’ tweet of all time. pic.twitter.com/eIZs2Pn9Sp
This was the first major “I was hacked” to happen on Twitter and it sparked the greatest bad excuse in internet history. What should have been a lesson instead gave us the ultimate fail-safe for any errant dick or boob pics.
Stay for the hashtags
16)
https://twitter.com/Kxngjuan/status/669165357236625408
This hashtag brought us all together through our different but all too similar experiences with our families on Thanksgiving. Because all of us have a story involving THAT auntie, uncle, or cousin.
17)
https://twitter.com/MatthewACherry/status/621289583423041537
A unifying hashtag that connected all of our common experiences, #GrowingUpBlack was a nostalgic trip down memory lane. Who’s to say T-Pain didn’t become inspired to make “Buy U a Drank” after crooning into a box fan.
18)
https://twitter.com/MoneyMakers_Ent/status/654763269547147264
CVS-brand Terio didn’t know he’d become famous the day he got caught looking like a deer in the headlights, but that’s why it’s one of the great moments in Black Twitter history. Magic can happen at any given moment in any given Popeyes line.
19)
When you on punishment an this the only thing you had to play with #GrowingUpBlack pic.twitter.com/SgQsQ97Yrf
— Tae Dean (@DriverDean_) July 15, 2015
If you’ve been in trouble, this is probably extremely triggering. The “go over there” punishment usually boiled down to an upset parent sending you into a random corner near a door. These springy things got us through some tough times.
20)
#OscarsSoWhite they haven’t shifted their selection process in 87 years#OscarNoms pic.twitter.com/oMB1mVXUZ0
— ᴉuoodɹɯ (@MrPooni) January 15, 2015
Jadakiss’ “Why” came out 13 years ago, but we still can’t seem to figure out: Why Halle have to let a white man pop her to get an Oscar? Why Denzel have to be crooked before he took it?
Still searching for answers…
But, most importantly, stay for the relatable
21)
when you sleeping and your alarm didn’t ring yet but the amount of sleep you’re getting is suspicious pic.twitter.com/AKOKuZCysl
— sabrina (@_sxbz) December 14, 2016
Anxiety doesn’t even begin to describe the anxiety-inducing effects of this tweet. With that said, this might be the only time this meme has ever appeared on Twitter. A unicorn meme, if you will.
22)
https://twitter.com/jola_jade/status/797461928411009024
Birthing the iconic “Evil Kermit” meme is a feat on its own, but the sheer trillness (trill = combination of true and real) of this tweet makes it stand alone on its own. Scream, argue, and sever relationships first. Ask questions last.
23)
Her: ima tell you something but don’t let it to go to your head
— Le 🌊 (@1thing_Young) October 26, 2016
Me: nah what is it
Her: I like your haircut
Me: pic.twitter.com/522iACHiux
Taking time for yourself is also a big tenet of Black Twitter. Every day, the timeline reminds you that there is no better cheerleader than yourself. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like. A fresh cut is like acquiring a star in Super Mario. You’re invincible for a short amount of time. Your jokes hit harder, your breath smells a little better, and you might snag a compliment here and there. Relish it.
24)
When yo parents make you go pro when you really wanted to be a doctor http://t.co/i91SXTmzau
— AKEEL 🌹 (@OooItsAkeel) April 22, 2014
One of the best Twitter subplots is Kawhi Leonard’s hatred of basketball. Sure, he’s an MVP candidate, but does that look like a man that actually likes basketball? Black Twitter also moonlights as an unaccredited sports psychologist.
25)
Mario Kart taught me that if things going too well for you, get nervous. It won’t last long
— Trill Withers (@TylerIAm) August 27, 2014
A friendly reminder to quit while you are ahead. If you feel like you’re doing a little too well in your day-to-day, just remember that the blue shell of life is careening towards you at all times.
26)
May be the best tweet @Twitter might’ve ever tweet. ( Via @TylerIAm ) pic.twitter.com/rxUOdFkQtz
— The Internet (@PIataOPlomo) July 5, 2016
This is probably one of the hardest hitting tweets in existence. It’s since been deleted, but it always needs to be seen every once in awhile to keep you grounded. You may have traumatic moments in your life, but none of them compare to missing a “you up?” text during late night hours.
27)
Did he use that speed when he ran outta your life? RT @VeroLoLo5: My ex was 6’5 185 and could run a 4.2. All y’all suck.
— Paul Atreides (@Alyricz) January 5, 2014
Arguably the most disrespectful tweet of all time and a timeless auto-RT whenever it comes across the TL. One of the main themes of Black Twitter is the constant gender war. Each day both sides are jockeying for position in a Game of Thrones-type battle where tons of people die horrific online deaths.
28)
https://twitter.com/fivefifths/status/648500679187808256
#DuragHistoryWeek is an official holiday (the NYSE is a hater for not recognizing it as such) within Black Twitter.
And finally, stay for the all too real
29)
How the hell we supposed to trust Atlanta to keep ebola quarantined when Gucci Mane released 8 mixtapes from jail?
— 🦫✨America Is Musty✨🦫 (@DragonflyJonez) August 1, 2014
Think about everything you’ve done over the last few years. There were some solid accomplishments in there, I’m sure. Now come to the realization that you didn’t do as much as Gucci Mane did while he was in jail. Amazing that we survived Ebola.
