Politics, you see, is like a television show. You watch things happen. But what television show is politics like? Is it House of Cards, where the evil politics man does the politics? Maybe. Or how about The Sopranos, where the Italians do the politics with their hands? Maybe politics is like the Price Is Right, where the politics is done by lots of people, who all shout at the person onstage at the exact same time.
No, that’s Twitter.
Nefarious political adviser Steve Bannon left the Trump White House yesterday, and one conservative writer on Twitter felt it was exactly like the Game of Thrones. Exactly like it.
Bannon understands the Game of Thrones. Joffrey just beheaded him. So his new plan is to become the Winter King. https://t.co/SBAlxnr1l0
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) August 18, 2017
Except.
Well.
No.
Like, first off, first off, FIRST OFF: The man who got beheaded by Joffrey explicitly didn’t understand the Game of Thrones. That’s why he got beheaded. Remember when he and Cersei spoke and she said, “You either win or you die?”
He died! He’s dead. That’s not understanding the Game of Thrones. That’s being dead!
And he most assuredly did not then become the Winter King (it’s possible he warped into someone else or was a Faceless Man, but he did not go beyond the Wall), because, second off, there is no Winter King. It’s the Night King. Who brings Winter. JFC SMH BEN.
But, like, lastly, politics is not Game of Thrones. There are no fire-breathing dragons in politics!!!
(Unless you count Ted Kenndy’s booze breath, heyoo.)
Anyway, because it was such a dumb tweet, and because what’s going on in America right now is way more important than any fictional septet going north to catch a wight and should be taken more way more seriously, people were rightfully dunking all over on Shapiro.
https://twitter.com/parabasis/status/898604606032424960
i haven’t watched game of thrones – does a guy without a head become the winter king? https://t.co/2SGdIzGRna
— slime orb (@bug_facts) August 18, 2017
https://twitter.com/theopepper/status/898624326005514240
https://twitter.com/daniecal/status/898605409396678656
wow this dude has been watching a completely different show than the rest of us https://t.co/afYXLdWJDS
— Morb’Dib Time (@ersatzfusillade) August 18, 2017
Which means Twitter also ate up its disjointed nature and poor comprehension of plot dynamics.
https://twitter.com/YourManDevine/status/898607331126108165
Bannon went from being “A King of Thrones” to a “dragon” in one fell swoop of the “sword” on “HBOGo” https://t.co/ecqnbbf28A
— Lead Actor from Pixar’s Sodas (@ByYourLogic) August 18, 2017
It soon went delightfully off the rails.
https://twitter.com/boring_as_heck/status/898605539168468992
https://twitter.com/sam_kriss/status/898607490845347840
Bannon understands Mad Men. Lucky Strike just walked out. So his new plan is to fuck a secretary https://t.co/wmDSvn7oJ0
— Ken Lowery (@kenlowery) August 18, 2017
“Use the force, Harry.” — Gandalf, the Winter King https://t.co/y6ZWXXO1c8
— Hrishikesh Hirway (@HrishiHirway) August 18, 2017
Bannon was a Slytherin but then the Sorting Hat leviosa’d his horcrux so now he’s the Golden Snitch for I dunno the Hamburglar or some shit https://t.co/yrvnQunQuc
— Near deGrasse Tyson (@DrNeilTyson) August 18, 2017
Bannon understands The Neverending Story. Like the wolf-monster Gmork, he has impaled himself on a knife held by boy Atreyu, and is now dead https://t.co/c1SirtPlNu
— MisterHippity (@MisterHippity) August 18, 2017
Others just pointed out how plain bad it was.
https://twitter.com/Phonycian/status/898608658874945536
But anyway, given all that, there’s one last reason it’s terrible.
BANNON IS VARYS.
JFC SMH PPL.
