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We must forever ban Canadian trivia on ‘Jeopardy!’

We refuse to be snowed under.

Photo of Luke Winkie

Luke Winkie

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Yesterday it was reported that everyone’s favorite venerable quiz show Jeopardy! would preclude Canadian residents from registering to compete on the program. 

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This probably has to do with some sort of work visa, bureaucracy paperwork nonsense that will get sorted out sooner rather than later, but it’s also pretty hilarious to imagine some sort of nationalist tension in the Jeopardy! offices. Who knows—maybe they discovered that people from north of the border are naturally faster at clicking a buzzer, keeping our hard-working Americans down. (It’s especially funny when you consider Alex Trebek is from Ontario; we hope he’s sleeping well.)

Regardless, as long as we’re banning Canadians from Jeopardy!, we figured we’d also ban certain topics of Canadian trivia. That’s only fair, right?

  • Anything involving the Montreal Canadiens, unless the answer is “What is ‘the most overrated dynasty in the history of sports’?”

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  • Specifics regarding our softwood lumber dispute.

  • Steve Nash’s soccer career.

  • The Louisbourg Expedition.

  • Anything that starts with “saint.” See: “Saint Laurent,” “Saint-Jean-sur-Richeleu” etc.

  • Menu items at Tim Hortons.

  • Any and all famous mooses.

  • Concrete examples of the superiority of Canadian social services.

  • Don Cherry.

  • The apocalyptic grandeur of the Athabasca tar sands.

  • The Canadian Destroyer.”

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  • Eh, maybe just Drake in general.

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Photo via abdallahh/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

 
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