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The year’s worst sex writing will make you contemplate celibacy

So not hot.

Photo of April Siese

April Siese

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By the end of the month, a winner will be crowned for the worst sex writing of the year as part of Literary Review‘s Bad Sex in Fiction Award.

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The best of the worst NSFW writing award has been going strong for nearly two and a half decades. Of course, there’s been plenty of not-hot erotica hidden in the pages of lauded works of fiction long before that. Literary Review just had the balls to call it out.

The U.K. literary journal and book-focused magazine has been celebrating some of #badsex’s greatest hits on Twitter and, oh man, is it boner-killing.

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This year’s spread of nominations in the unsexy smut smorgasboard include…

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A Doubter’s Almanac by Ethan Canin

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Men Like Air by Tom Connolly

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The Day Before Happiness by Erri De Luca

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The Butcher’s Hook by Janet Ellis

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Leave Me by Gayle Forman

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The Tobacconist by Robert Seethaler

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A special shoutout goes to Jonathan Safran Foer, who apparently really has a thing for mountains. His latest recycled paper bag of a book, Here I Am, includes this asphyxiating abomination:

https://twitter.com/ClipperChip/status/799622266791362560

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Also frequently nominated was president-elect Donald Trump’s Access Hollywood tape, which was merely disqualified for being a real live thing that someone thought was a good idea to say. Out loud.

Anyway, good luck having sex ever again now that an author has equated fingering to a busted bucket of grain!

 
The Daily Dot