To quote The Big Lebowski: “Sometimes there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place.” At the tail end of 2014, on Instagram, Jordan James Parke is that man.
What makes the British makeup artist the human embodiment of our terrifying zeitgeist? Probably the $150,000 he’s spent on collagen injections, eyebrow tattoos, laser hair removal, “vampire facials,” and Botox in order to more closely resemble Kim Kardashian.
And it worked. Sort of.
Parke and his 15,400 Instagram followers—unfortunately, he just set the account to private—seem pleased with the results.
“I laugh when people try to insult me by telling me I look plastic or fake,” he said in an interview with the Sun. “Do they think I’m going for the natural look? If I was, I’d ask for my money back.”
Like any good Kardashian, he’s also dropping a fortune on designer goods and takes his selfies in chic settings. He’s apparently not too modest, either:
Any paparazzo who snaps a photo of this dude with that Justin Bieber guy can probably just retire.
H/T Daily Mail | Photo via jordanjames2014/Instagram
