Tortoise and hare face off in real-life race, and guess who wins?
Will slow and steady actually win the race?
On Oct 6, 2017 by David Britton
‘F**k Tortoise’ saves his endangered species by having sex all the time
In praise of Diego, the Galapagos F**k Tortoise.
On Sep 14, 2016 by Jay Hathaway
This miniature Jurassic Park is home to a fearsome pet tortoise
But how long until he escapes?
On May 3, 2016 by David Britton
Modest baby tortoise decides to leave his eggshell on
The new look for spring.
On Apr 21, 2016 by Miles Klee
World’s oldest animal, a tortoise named Jonathan, takes his very first bath
Rub-a-dub-dub.
On Mar 24, 2016 by Gabe Bergado
New York tortoise walker is the best job posting on Craigslist
Henry the tortoise needs some weekday fun.
On Mar 9, 2016 by Gabe Bergado
Fastest tortoise in the world can hustle about a foot a second
The hare has nothing on this dude.
On Sep 11, 2015 by Gabe Bergado
Tortoise defies society’s expectations and eats upside down
It could care less what you think. It’s hungry and lazy.
On Aug 18, 2015 by Gabe Bergado
Tortoise opens a door and lets himself into a house
Slow and steady gets inside.
On Aug 11, 2015 by Gabe Bergado
This hard-partying tortoise is getting up to all sorts of trouble
Live slow, die slower, bad tortoises do it well.
On May 28, 2015 by Gabe Bergado
Tiny tortoises eating tiny pancakes will make you squee forever
Good for them!
On May 18, 2015 by Myles Tanzer
Watch this tortoise zip around town in a giant wheelchair
The reptile gets a second chance at a mobile life.
On Apr 28, 2015 by Gabe Bergado
Man’s adorable giant tortoise is the toast of Tokyo
As close as you can get to a real-life Pokémon.
On Apr 17, 2015 by Gabe Bergado
Craigslist post from ‘billionaire’ seeking DNA hacker is utter insanity
This makes so much sense.
On Apr 15, 2015 by Christine Friar
Giant tortoise understandably angry at being interrupted during sex
Get online and pay for reptile porn like everyone else, man.
On Mar 20, 2015 by Miles Klee
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