Rapper Freddie Gibbs would call Germany’s 7-1 World Cup semifinal deconstruction of Brazil a “good old-fashioned Joe Jackson ass-whoppin’.” The host nation fell Tuesday to a film credits-esque scroll of merciless German goals in historic fashion—nearly tying the 7-0 result Poland put on Haiti in 1974 while suffering its first defeat on home soil since 1975, and its worst defeat since 1920.
Brazil was out-classed, out-hustled, and its backline was left spinning and staring at one another in disbelief as Germany’s veterans punched a series of rec league blowout grounders through a creaky Julio Cesar.
Germany will play the winner of Netherlands and Argentina in Sunday’s World Cup final at 3:00 p.m. Eastern.
Let’s go to a stream-of-consciousness roll of Twitter zingers, facts, on what was a field day for the medium.
“Stop! Stop he’s already dead!” #WorldCup2014 #BrazilvsGermany pic.twitter.com/C0kG0pLPRb
— SimpsonsQOTD (@SimpsonsQOTD) July 8, 2014
Looks like we’ll still be the only ones with 6 World Fútbol Championships
— Troy Polamalu (@tpolamalu) July 8, 2014
After the sixth goal from #GER , #BRA have finally tried to rage quit. pic.twitter.com/dHrpvUnDwZ
— Football Related (@FootbaIlRelated) July 8, 2014
6-0. 1950 had the Marcanazo; 2014 has the #Neymargeddon.
— Musa Okwonga (@Okwonga) July 8, 2014
GO FOR TWO GERMANY
— Bill Barnwell (@billbarnwell) July 8, 2014
If Brazil comes back from being down 5-0 to Germany, I will get a Brazilian wax.
— Joe Warminsky (@jwarminsky) July 8, 2014
#BrazilvsGermany is all fun and games until you remember that this World Cup cost $11 billion https://t.co/naljDrhHns
— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) July 8, 2014
“@toksyk27: *DEAD* “@djcomplexonline: Pele be like…… pic.twitter.com/v1NkvzW7XU“” lol mean mean people #BRA #GER
— Rosebell Kagumire (@RosebellK) July 8, 2014
I can still win my fantasy matchup if Fred scores 1.5 goals and runs for at least THREE kilometers.
— Drew Magary (@drewmagary) July 8, 2014
If only the Germans had a word for taking pleasure in the misfortunes of others.
— delrayser (@delrayser) July 8, 2014
At least #Bra are making a dignified effort to score here. Just can’t score.
— Anthony Lopopolo (@sportscaddy) July 8, 2014
BREAKING NEWS: At halftime, Germany has a lead *this* big. #WorldCup #GERvsBRA pic.twitter.com/G6Fm7sbAWS
— not that mike (@mikeishappy) July 8, 2014
“Ooh, the Germans!” pic.twitter.com/lGCVfFpJjZ
— Eric Gómez (@EricGomezFOX) July 8, 2014
#BRA brought Ramires on? Somebody getting hurt on that field TODAY.
— Mobbdeen (@Deen8) July 8, 2014
The broadcast goes to Bob Ley’s Panic Room, but all you can hear is Michael Ballack pounding on the door and making guttural noises.
— Alex Keckeisen (@Alex_Keck) July 8, 2014
Heads up: ‘that’ photo going around is from the 2013 protests: https://t.co/ZFLllTiBB7 pic.twitter.com/GImPW9HMrW
— Maxi Rodriguez (@FutbolIntellect) July 8, 2014
Was it?! pic.twitter.com/XDp6wudq9n
— Isaac (@WorldofIsaac) July 8, 2014
Screengrab via ESPN
