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‘This is why I’m never a regular anywhere’: Smoke shop customer discovers the workers’ secret nickname for him

‘That’s a good one honestly.’

Photo of P.J. West

P.J. West

Person talking (three split)

A New Yorker who’s a regular at a smoke shop has found out they have acquired a nickname—and they’re not exactly sure how to feel about it.

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The video documenting this comes from creator Tan (@trademarxism), whose bio declares them to be an “unremarkable background character of NYC.” Since going up on Monday, the video has gathered more than 328,000 views.

It starts with a stitch from someone who learned he acquired a nickname at a coffee shop from the workers there, and then Tan tells of how he, too, got a nickname from a place where he’d become a regular.

“‘The yapper,’” he begins, “which I promise you is not nearly as bad as what they call me at my corner smoke shop.”

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He continues, “I want to tell you all the story of how I found out my given name. So I’ve been a regular at this small shop for like three years now. It’s a father-son duo; father normally works the mornings, the son works nights, and they probably see me like two to three times a week, except these past couple months I’ve been trying to quit, so they barely see me.”

However, admitting he’s not “the strongest,” he says he’s gone in on two different occasions in the last week to buy cigarettes—the first from the son and the second from the father.

On the second visit, Tan said the father greeted him in a “thick Arabic accent” with, “Oh my God, my son was like, ‘Dad, you’ll never believe it: The Spanish boy-girl’s back! I feel bad. I think they were trying to quit.’”

Tan was initially touched, remarking, “Oh, you guys like care about me outside of my patronage?” Then, with it dawning on him, he added, “Wait, boy-girl? Spanish?”

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@trademarxism #stitch with @mattyhaverty ♬ Jeanine! – Kwame Adu & Aviad

Commenters revealed that they, too, had received nicknames based on their patronage.

“My halal stand calls me ‘hot sauce’ and it’s not cause I get hot sauce,” one revealed.

Another said, “I’m known at my local Dutch Bros. as the ‘pink car guy.’ if I go in any other car besides my own, they don’t recognize me.”

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Someone else said, “I get called mozzarella girl from the Mediterranean place I frequently buy mozzarella sticks from.”

Workers came in to reveal they doled out nicknames.

“We had the soup lady,” one recalled. She always wanted the broth from all three soups at Olive Garden in a cup with a straw. I stopped working there 10 years ago and still think about her.”

Another shared, “We had a regular that I dubbed ‘patchy the pirate’… he was missing an eye.”

The video led one viewer to say, “And this why I’m never a regular anywhere.”

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Tan responded, “i’m weak they’ll never catch u in the same place twice.”

The Daily Dot has reached out to Tan via TikTok comment for more information.

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