In a viral video, TikToker Jess (@justjesstn), whose content documents her dating in her 30s, asked viewers their thoughts on first date etiquette.
She started the video by recounting a recent first date. She said the date was set for 5:30pm, but she didn’t hear back from her date confirming they were still set to meet. When she checked in at 5:10pm, she recalled him saying, “‘Oh, yeah, just leaving now, see you at 5:30.’”
At 5:30pm, she said he sent her a text saying that he was going to be five minutes late. She said she didn’t mind. “I live right by where we are going to have dinner, so no sweat off my back,” she said. When he arrived at 5:40, she said he texted her asking, “‘Where are you sitting?’”
@justjesstn #datingin2023 is like being in Jumanji but when you yell “Jumanji!, they just send you another immature man. #datinginyour30s #datingstorytime #firstdate #bumbledate #datingbelike ♬ original sound – Jess✨ | Dating in your 30s
Jess then rolled her eyes, and asked viewers, “Was I supposed to be at the bar on time at 5:30pm waiting for him?”
She continued, “I just feel like, back in the day, guys would have gotten there early … and had the seat saved.”
Jess pondered, “Now maybe they want me to do that?”
“That does not scream chivalry,” she argued.
The TikToker encouraged viewers to share their thoughts, and they did. The video has thousands of comments and over 209,000 views.
Many agreed with her and shared a similar preference for men who arrive on first dates early with the table secured. “No, you are right. He should have checked in earlier in the day making sure it was still on and had the table at 5:30 like proposed,” @catecolechic said.
Some commented on his lack of confirming first, claiming that to be a red flag. “I always confirm the morning of or by noon. If the guy can’t do that I’m not wasting my time wondering if we’re still meeting up,” @catie_1989 shared.
Many women related to Jess’ video and shared their own similar experiences. “The last date a guy set up with me he made reservations, but he didn’t confirm the day of, I never went or spoke to him again,” @jessica.valentine_ said. Another added, “Sadly, there are not a lot of gentlemen out there anymore!”
A few men shared their perspectives, arguing they would have acted differently, “I would have picked you up and gone to the restaurant. That’s what I always did when I was dating,” @fit.alpha said. Another shared his approach, “I check in by noon. I tell them when I’m leaving. I wait outside to walk in together and open the door so she isn’t walking in alone looking for me.”
However, some men felt Jess’s requests were too demanding. “If I make a date it’s a date. What’s with all the checking in to see if it’s still happening !? Why did that become a thing,” one shared.
The Daily Dot reached out to Jess for comment via TikTok.
