There’s no justice quite like the kind meted out by a bartender. Take, for example, this tale of vigilante pouring amid a bad first date.
TikTok creator Morgan Roos (@morganroos96) posted a series of videos called “Dive Bar Storytime,” where she spun yarns about her experiences bartending, and several went viral. One posted in May 2022 recently resurfaced on the app, and it spurred plenty of conversation from viewers, especially those who can’t stand beer bro behavior.
The video currently has 1.4 million views and almost 280,000 likes. “If you’re gonna be stupid you better be tough,” the TikTok’s caption reads.
The story started with a guy walking into Roos’ bar around 5pm. She asked what she could get for him, but he cut her off, put his hand up, and said he wanted water, because he was waiting for someone. A woman then walked in looking around, and Roos thought, “No, please don’t let this be a first date, because I will make it horrible for the both of you.”
The rocky start continued, Roos said, with the man telling his date that she looked nothing like her profile pictures. “Holy [expletive], this guy sucks,” Roos thought. Worsening matters, the woman ordered a vodka cranberry, and the man mocked her, saying “What is this, college?”
Roos recalled that the man wouldn’t read the menu and told him to bring her the best IPA the bar had. The bartender poured him a run-of-the-mill Dale’s Pale Ale instead. “You’ll get what I give you at this point,” she confided to viewers. He took a sip and said, “Oh yeah, you can really tell by the flavor profile that this is a good, hoppy IPA.” Roos said he then started ranting about his passion for craft beers and his discerning palate. He boasted that, if presented with any four beers on tap, he could tell them apart by taste.
Roos called his bluff and challenged him to a blind taste test. Except, to the delight of viewers, she said, “I’m gonna pour four Coors Lights.”
Sure enough, the man couldn’t tell them apart, according to the creator. He named them as Pabst Blue Ribbon, Bud Light, an IPA, and another Pabst. “How does he do it?” Roos remarked sarcastically.
When the bartender burst his bubble, she remembered him asking, “Do you think it’s funny to trick people?” Roos replied, “Do you think it’s funny to boast about something you suck at?”
The commenters were living for the tale.
“I’ve started doing one salt rim out of all the sugar rims when people order lemon drops. Watching the one confused person try to figure it out rules,” one commenter wrote. Roos replied, “That’s absolutely diabolical. I’m stealing that.”
Another commenter wrote that “a love for Craft beer as a personality trait” is a red flag.
“I love craft beer, but some dudes are so condescending about it! they all think they’re cicerones. never met a woman that acts like that about beer,” one viewer wrote.
@morganroos96 If you’re gonna be stupid you better be tough. 🤷🏽♀️ #divebar #bartender #serviceindustry #firstdatenightmare #coorslight #storytime #denver #fyp ♬ original sound – Morgan Roos
“How do you even think coors light tastes like an IPA?? Not even close buddy!” a comment read.
“I can tell the difference between most name brand beers but coors would stump me now because unless it’s cold it’s even more horrible,” someone added.
“This TikTok is timeless. It proves what I knew 40 years ago. Customer BS is strong,” another comment read.
“When I go the the bar for a first date I make sure to get on good terms with the bartender, they play a huge role,” one person commented.
“Coors is for rehydration and beer pong. Hopefully she never sees him again,” another commented.
“I would have just stood there and laughed at him,” a viewer added.
The Daily Dot reached out to Roos via email.
Among the creator’s previous viral bartending storytimes: a video about covering a shift at a new bar without knowing one regular was an absolute menace with the jukebox.
