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‘Like he was trying to teach you a lesson’: Ace Hardware customer says worker was rude to her after she denied his help lifting bag of soil

‘He clearly was offended by my response.’

Photo of Stacy Fernandez

Stacy Fernandez

woman speaking in car with caption 'do you want help' (l) Ace store with sign (c) woman speaking in car with caption ' (r)

Here’s yet another case of a man taking a woman’s “no” way too far.

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Hardware stores can already be uncomfortable for anyone who isn’t a traditionally masculine guy. If you fall outside of that specific perception, employees may talk down to you, or you may just end up feeling out of place, wanting to get in and out as quickly as possible.

With this in mind, Chloe (@workfromdenver) was already aware that she might face some microaggressions walking into her local Ace Hardware store.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to Ace Hardware in a purple maxi skirt. That might have been my mistake,” Chloe jokingly says in the clip, since we all know that people shouldn’t be mistreated because of the clothes they decide to wear.

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Soon after Chloe walked in, an employee asked if she needed help. She was actually relieved because she needed some potting soil but wasn’t sure what kind to get, so whatever insight he could give her was appreciated.

He walked her over to the potting soil she needed, and she says they both reached for the soil at the same time. While that sounds like the beginning of a meet-cute, it’s not.

In the awkward moment, she asked the Ace worker if they were going to carry the large bag together, noting that she’s down for whatever is easiest.

“Do you not want help?” he allegedly asked her in an accusatory tone.

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“Oh, I think I got it,” she responded.

At this point, she hadn’t picked up the bag and realized just how heavy it was. Chloe also didn’t have a cart, so she hobbled over to the register with the soil.

While waiting with the bag in her arms behind the several customers ahead of her, Chloe was visibly struggling and almost shaking.

Three other male employees walked past and saw her struggling. Every time they tried to help her, the original employee waved them off. “Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. She said she’s fine,” he said pettily.

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Fragile masculinity

“He clearly was offended by my response to his question,” Chloe recalls in the clip. “I hope that’s the last time I have to interact with a man at Ace Hardware. I don’t think that a female employee would have taken my response in that way.”

A study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that men who have stress reactions to a perceived lack of masculinity are more likely to exhibit violent behavior. While Chloe’s experience was luckily just a minorly aggressive customer service interaction, this stress reaction, known as “masculine discrepancy stress” can have much harsher consequences. This typically involves romantic rejection of some sort, which can result in reactions from men that range from bad-faith text messages to murder.

Some have even dubbed 2023’s hit film Barbie as an ideal example of such fragile masculinity.

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@workfromdenver lesson learned: no maxi skirts or uncertain answers at Ace Hardware from now on ✅ #denver #denvercolorado #denverlife #acehardware #earthday ♬ original sound – Chloe | Work From Denver

Viewers respond

Chloe’s video has more than 100,000 views and hundreds of comments, and viewers were appalled at the Ace Hardware worker’s behavior.

“How dare you not fawn over him for offering to help you with something you were trying to do without assistance,” the top comment read.

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“The way I would have immediately called over one of his coworkers with ‘I’d love help, just didn’t want it from that guy,’” a person said.

“I used to work at ace and asking men if they needed any help carrying soil out to their car was my favorite form of entertainment they got so mad,” a former worker added.

“Throw it over your shoulder next time like a firemen do with hoses. it’s easier to carry that way,” a commenter suggested.

The Daily Dot reached out to Chloe for comment via email.

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