Man 1 talking(L), Man 2 talking(c), Man 3 talking with roses(r)

@ohitsdannyb/Tiktok @jibrizy/Tiktok @jaywill4real/Tiktok

Why the boys are entering their “soft guy era” (drizzle drizzle)

It’s the backlash to the “soft girl era” trend of 2023.

 

Lindsey Weedston

Memes

The soft guy era meme is a satirical response to a 2023 TikTok trend, with each promoting the idea that one gender should take care of the other financially in a relationship. The newer trend started in 2024 aims to point out a supposed gender-based double standard an declares that men deserve to be soft and cared for just as much as women.

The satirical meme is typically associated with the slang term “drizzle drizzle,” which is often used as a comment on the soft guy era videos and is synonymous with “sprinkle sprinkle.”

What is a “soft guy era?”

A soft guy era is a declaration that a man is rejecting the pressure to make a lot of money and provide for his partner and potential children. Instead, he’s embracing a “soft” lifestyle that emphasizes self-care, low stress, and everyday personal freedom from the grind.

This is a direct response to the “soft girl era” trend that began on TikTok a year before the soft guy videos appeared. The soft girl era refers to a time in a woman’s life when she decides to reject the “girlboss” mentality and stop pursuing professional and financial success and focus on herself instead.

This may or may not include seeking a male partner who will provide for her financial needs and/or seek a life that conforms to old-style gender norms in which the woman stays at home to care for the children and maintain the household.

Soft guy era videos are often made as a way to mock these women or accuse them of being entitled, self-serving, or exploitative. They question why men should be the ones to pay for dates and provide for their partners or families as a default, just as feminists began questioning why women should be the default childcare provider, cook, and house cleaner decades ago.

Soft guys declare that they may be the ones who want to quit work and stay home, though not all may be interested in the rest of the work performed by women in households that conform to traditional gender roles. To be fair, many soft girls reject the idea of having children or doing many chores as well, desiring a life of fun and relaxation.

Soft guy era origins

After the “soft girl” trend began to emerge in early 2023, the first TikTok dudes started posting their “soft guy era” videos around early 2024. It’s difficult to pinpoint the very first of such videos, but the inspiration for the trend can be linked to a post on March 21, when user @scarfacemark declared his intent to break up with his girlfriend for being “too perfect” and providing him with so much free stuff that it had raised his standards beyond what she could give.

@scarfacemark

She raised my standards God bless her! #foryou

♬ original sound – Scarfacemark

Days later, the user posted a new video explaining that the original was a joke and remarking on how many people who took him seriously criticized him. He used the situation to argue that a woman posting a similar video would have been praised, sparking internet discourse around gendered double standards.

https://www.tiktok.com/@scarfacemark/video/7348927632714747182

What does “drizzle drizzle” mean?

“Drizzle drizzle” is a comment often seen on soft guy era TikTok videos and is a variation of a similar phrase commented on the soft girl entries. The girl version is “sprinkle sprinkle,” coined by YouTuber Leticia Padua, which is essentially meant to mean “bless your heart,” “back at you,” or a similar sentiment. Padua described it as a versatile phrase that can be adapted to the situation.

“Whatever y’all needed it to mean,” she said.

Soft guy era drizzle drizzle is another way of mocking the 2023 trend and does not appear to have meaning outside of the original.

Meme examples

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@xtoxicteddyx/TikTok
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@xtoxicteddyx/TikTok
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@xtoxicteddyx/TikTok
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@xtoxicteddyx/TikTok
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@paul007scott/TikTok
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@paul007scott/TikTok
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@paul007scott/TikTok
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@paul007scott/TikTok
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