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Meet the unhinged successor to ‘deranged sorority girl’

Watch the throne.

Photo of Miles Klee

Miles Klee

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For two long years, America has wondered whether any young woman could ever unseat Rebecca Martinson as reigning queen of psychotic sorority girls. Now the wait is over.

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Unlike Martinson, this pledger-to-be isn’t even in college yet, which gives us high hopes for when she does eventually rush—which she’s totally doing, in case you harbored any doubts. Either she’s got a razor-sharp sense of satire, or shit’s about to get real at South Carolina.

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Moderators for the USC Class of 2019’s Facebook group were kind enough to let me join despite my graduating from a different college eight years ago, so we can report that this post has disappeared from the page. Meanwhile, there’s a running in-joke about someone named Patricia, presumably the author.

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Writing for BroBible, Martinson herself described Patricia’s public and hostile declaration of rank supremacy as “the most try-hard post on Facebook” and prophesied that it would get her “blacklisted from every sorority at USC.” In an email to the Daily Dot, she gave the mini-screed a lackluster grade of F+. 

I give it a F+ for not going far enough that it’s blatantly a joke and for obviously trying too hard, but it gets a plus for the fact that she supposedly knows how to knit in this day and age. Like I were in a life or death situation and the grim reaper was like “You can either drown in lava or knit me a fancy new scarf” I’d be dead.

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I, for one, just cannot believe it backfired.         

H/T Total Sorority Move | Photo by Milica Sekulic/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

 
The Daily Dot