A parent faced an onslaught of criticism after they tweeted about how much “emotional labor” they expend to care for their adopted daughter and her brother.
“The amount of emotional labor I’ve performed in the last two hours holy fuck,” parent Heron Greenesmith said in a tweet about helping their daughter wash her hair. Greenesmith also said that their daughter’s 18-year-old son, who lives with their family, “[uses them] as a therapist and a crisis counselor” and that they think the dynamic isn’t “healthy” for either of them.
Greenesmith’s tweets have since been deleted, but Maggie Larkin, who goes by @theradicalnanny on TikTok, posted screenshots in a video on Tuesday.
“Parenting is emotional labor. That’s most of what parenting is,” Larkin said in response to Greenesmith’s tweets in her TikTok. “Part of being a parent is prioritizing most of your emotional availability to support these people who you have created or voluntarily welcomed into your home.”
Larkin also said that Greenesmith had turned parenting into a “transaction” and that tweeting about doing so was profoundly awful.
In response to Greenesmith’s tweets, Twitter users offered them stern words of advice.
“Encouraging you to please speak to adoptees/former foster children so you can understand what parenting actually entails,” @sandernista412, who identified themselves as a social worker, tweeted at Greenesmith. The user also tweeted resources on fostering children.
“Don’t Post About Them On Twitter To Satiate Your Own Need For Importance,” @mingusmonk tweeted, who said that they have fostered almost 40 children.
“You do not talk about this person like they’re a human being,” comedian Joel Kim Booster (@ihatejoelkim) tweeted. “As an adopted child I’m horrified. Rethink this.”
Others gave Greenesmith the meme treatment to communicate how they felt about their tweets. User @frankuary tweeted a photo of a Sim looking at a computer screen while an infant is on fire next to them with the caption, “Sorry sweetie, i dont have time for emotional labour right now.”
User @dklmarxist tweeted a screenshot of lyrics from The Smiths that say “I don’t owe you anything, no,” and captioned the screenshot “when your kid asks for help.”
User @nickogallo tweeted a photo of a Popeyes employee sitting on a bench, leaning their torso on their legs while staring at the ground. The Twitter user captioned the photo, “When you sign up to be a foster parent and then you have to parent the kid you’re fostering.”
In a statement to the Daily Dot, Greenesmith explained that they don’t have any foster children: They adopted their daughter in 2016 and have taken in many of her siblings.
“Like many queer families, ours is complicated,” Greenesmith told the Daily Dot. “I regret that I have to share these intimate details.” They said what they were expressing in their tweets is that “parenting is tough.”
“I wish I knew a better way to suggest the 18-year-old access a therapist,” Greenesmith said of the male teen referenced in their tweets. “The 18-year-old needs to talk to a professional about the horrors of capitalism, and CPS, and growing up as a young man in America right now.”
Greenesmith said that their “deepest wish” for their daughter’s 18-year-old brother is for him to be surrounded by adults who will support him and “provide possibility models for his life.”
“I am so proud to be one of those people for him,” Greenesmith said.
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