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Lying with a little help from eHarmony

Beth Cook weighs in on how to get out of a bad date.

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Beth Cook

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Beth Cook is a dating coach and wing-woman who throws private dating events for San Francisco’s most awesome and unattached. She also writes and draws about her own dating experiences and would love to hear from you. Want advice? Have advice? Send her an email.

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eHarmony, the online dating service that touts quality over quantity (a husband rather than a few good lays) has just made an appalling move. The “#1 Most Trusted Online Dating Site” released an app—Bad Date Rescue—that helps people lie to escape a date turning sour.

There are a handful of ways to “set up a rescue”—which means set up a fake phone call to yourself from your mom, friend or neighbor—before your date.

If your date does indeed suck, you answer the bogus call and feign surprise as an eHarmony script gives you an excuse that warrants a speedy departure. Then you convey the fake news to your date and hit the road.

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For goodness sakes, haven’t our tech dependencies dehumanized us enough? I’m shocked that eHarmony thinks this is the way people should treat each other. This, from the online company with a homepage that states: “…we’ll help you find the most promising matches. People whose goals, values and personality traits most complement you.”

I sure hope a liar doesn’t best complement me!

You shouldn’t lie to get out of a date; you should be smart about scheduling them. Here’s how:

1. Set up a happy hour date for a weeknight. Tell your date that you are available from 6:00pm to 7:30pm.

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2. Show up at 6:00pm and then say, “I’m heading off” when 7:30pm rolls around. Presto! You’re no longer on a date with someone who doesn’t interest you.

If you can’t share company with just about anyone for an hour and a half, then you’ve got other problems.

Be a decent human being and get to know someone for 90 minutes—even if you don’t want to get in their pants. You’ll be a better dater—and a better person—for it.

It’s that fucking simple.

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