I love Passover. It is a time to gather with friends and family, celebrate the past, look to the future, and eat ungodly amounts of brisket. There are so many amazing customs and traditions associated with the holiday, like eating matzah.
I love matzah. I love matzah so much that I have a dog named Matzah; however, matzah is not a suitable substitute for bread.
Every year, as I go without God’s greatest gift—bread—for seven days, I experience what I call “The 7 Stages of Passover Grief.” Based on Twitter, I am not alone.
1) Shock
Forgot that it was Passover & accidentally ate 3 croutons
— Nat Baimel (@NatBaimel) April 27, 2016
Oh well; what’s the worst that can hap– oh…welp, my foreskin grew back again
2) Denial
https://twitter.com/UrplePingo/status/723922884490596352
3) Anger
https://twitter.com/yaeltime/status/724989590189256704
4) Bargaining
PASSOVER DAY 2
— Rodger Sherman (@rodger) April 24, 2016
I’ll just have a delicious, nutritious salad! This is great!
PASSOVER DAY 7
i would endure slavery for sandwiches
5) Depression
https://twitter.com/TheOtherGoodman/status/724621882272698368
6) Testing
The real four questions:
— UrProbablyJewish (@UrProbsJewish) April 24, 2016
When can we eat?
When can we eat?
When can we eat?
When can we eat? #Passover
7) Acceptance
Living that “It’s Passover week so I might as well eat 12oz of tuna salad for lunch” life.
— B 💖💜💙🏳️🌈 (@Nerdsbeware) April 25, 2016
I was raised Catholic, but have since parted ways. Now that I am dating a Jewish man, his holidays are my holidays. I know I am choosing to live without delicious, crusty bread for seven of the longest days of the year. Yes, I know I bring this upon myself, but please, have some sympathy for me.
mfw the man making my salad asks if I want croutons #Passover pic.twitter.com/4Q1MPGMf13
— Aly Ellis (@alyellis) April 25, 2016
And if you are looking for me on Saturday, you can find me at my local pizza joint. I’ll be the one with swimming in garlic knots.
