Big news on the Sharknado front: Ian Ziering and Tara Reid will reprise their starring roles from the original Sharknado as an estranged couple whose lives are torn asunder by improbable storms full of sharks. Except this time, the sharks will ‘nado around New York City.
The SyFy channel held a contest last summer to name the sequel on Twitter, resulting in the forthright (yet perhaps too plain) title of Sharknado 2: The Second One.
Daily Dot writer Aaron Sankin would like to rename the film Sharknado 2: The Sharkening and add the tagline “It’s getting shark in here.” I’d prefer to rename it Sharknado 2 Fast 2 Sharkious and recast Vin Diesel in Ian Ziering’s role, but life’s not fair.
Apart from the location change to New York City, not much is known about the plot. While we wait for the summer of 2014 to see the second sublimely kitschy shark flick, here’s a list of possible plot-lines:
There is another Sharknado, and…
- The sharknado gets overpowered by a polar BEAR vortex.
- All of the sharks are twerking because 2013.
- The sharks are gluten-free so people start wrapping themselves in wheat tortillas to stay alive.
- The sharks are actually loan sharks, big greasy men from suburban New Jersey, and the sequel is far more horrifying than the original.
- The sharks are a metaphor for Late Capitalism.
- The sharks can all talk, and they are voiced by an uncredited Bruce Willis and Roseanne.
- The sharknado happens during a NATO summit. Tagline: Shark…NATO! It grosses $0.
- The sharks have come to New York City to audition for an off-off Broadway play. It’s a dystopian re-imagination of “A Streetcar Named Desire.” The sharks win the part of the streetcar. Their rampage is subdued by the craft of stage acting.
- Turns out Tara Reid was a shark all along.
If you think about it, is any of that really more absurd than the concept of a sharknado in the first place?
H/T Defamer | Photo via Wikipedia
